Addendum...

I have just finished re-reading all of the 60 posts that I put on this blog. My word! I thought I was a good speller and a decent editor. I guess I have gotten used to "spell check" on my computer. Well, I will tell you that I now know how to spell alleviate, consciousness, and every time, not to mention care giver. Thank you all for your adventuresome spirits in plowing through my misspellings and other errors. I will say that I found it inordinately difficult to edit this thing. My memory is not the best at this point and it seemed that I had to re-learn the "how to" every time.

As I read through each blog, I was struck by how many times I asked for special prayers for a specific situation and how quickly that situation improved. I can now see the umbrella of prayer that was surrounding and covering us. Thank you so much. For some reason, I plan to print this "journal" to keep for posterity. I am not sure why except maybe I think I will need reminding of how blessed we were during this time in our lives and how family and friends sustained us by their prayers. There are no words to adequately express what this prayer support meant to us, to me especially. Until I read through what I had written, albeit poorly at times, I was not aware of how acutely our situation was affected by your prayers and God's Grace.
Sometimes in the midst of the battle, we just move forward in Faith; we have little time to analyse. It always helps when there are others on the perimeter who lift us and sustain us when we are unable to do so ourselves.

Thank you all.

The streets are paved with gold....

Hi, folks, apologies for such a delay. I wanted to let each of you faithful readers know that Kenny's wake and funeral were beautiful. He had full military honors - including the 21 gun salute, done by retired military men almost as old as he was. It was so poignant. Those who attended the service told us that it was the loveliest they had attended. It was uplifting with lots of music. I think Papa would have approved.

We found out that our IT person at church videoed the entire service and has it on a disc. If any of you would like to see it, please just let us know. I am planning to send one to Denver for all of the Colorado Biddle - Kitzman - McGinty branch of the family who were so dear to him. I would be happy to send one to anyone else who may want it. I promised to send the addresses for the memorials and I have not done that till now:

Mercy Hospice and Palliative Care
PO Box 50640
Myrtle Beach, SC 29579

St Paul's Episcopal Church
Memorial Fund
710 Main Street
Conway, SC 29526

Before I close, let me say for Larry and me both, that serving Papa was at times a challenge, but challenges make us better, stronger people. It was also a priviledge, one that under other circumstances we might not have experienced. It has taught us lessons in patience,humility and gratitude. It has served as a reminder to us that the elderly in our families are true blessings and a treasured resource for us and our children, a link to the past that once severed is gone forever. We were so blessed by his reminiscences of a time gone by, of experiences of a young man growing up in the depression that influenced the way he lived the rest of his life. Our children and grandchildren have been blessed by his and Hyrtha's presence in their lives, an opportunity missed by so many families in our country these days. We are grateful. We have also been blessed by you all who took time from your busy lives to log on and keep abreast of what was happening in his and our lives. You loved him too and he knew it. Thank you for caring so much for us all. God bless each of you. We treasure your friendship more than you will ever know.

Hello, Heaven. Here I come!

Kenny went home to his Lord and his Honey this afternoon at 4:41 after having last rites administered by our priest, Fr. Tripp Jeffords. He went peacefully with Larry and me as well as Dr. Sasser at his side. Even at the last his stubborn body kept saying, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can take one more breath." What a guy! And what a legacy he leaves behind for us but also for his grandchildren and his great grandchildren as well as his nieces, nephews and grand nieces and nephews (whom he considered his grandchildren too.) All of us have such fond memories of him and to honor him I hope that each of you will spend time remembering the great stories that he told all of us. I want to tell you that a couple of months ago, Papa said to me, "Ginny, there are two tuxedos in my closet. I want to be buried in one of them. You choose." So needless to say we will bring him back here to the house in Conway in his tuxedo, to await his funeral or his "going home celebration" as some of us southerners call it on Friday, September 11, Patriot Day - which we find proper considering his military service during WWII. It is fitting that we honor him on that day.

His service, which the kids decided would be with military honors, will be at our church - St. Paul's Episcopal, with burial following just up the street from our house (and the church) at Lakeside Cemetary. We are asking that folks not send flowers but instead send a donation to either Mercy Hospice or St. Paul's Memorial Fund. (I will get the addresses to you on Friday.)

Our entire family thanks all of you from the bottom of our hearts for your faithfulness in following the blog and keeping in touch with us. We are humbled and grateful for your presence in Kenny's life and in ours.

I will probably not write again until after the service on Friday. At that time I will gather up the loose threads of this blog and sign off. Till then, God bless you all.

I fell asleep last night...

Kenny was so much worse yesterday that I called Larry home from the mountains. By the time he arrived, I was so drained, I fell asleep and completely forgot about all you bloggers who were waiting with bated breath, I am sure.

Yesterday was not a good day. Papa has begun to show evidence of that ominous chest rattle that you hear about when death approaches. He awakened me early Sunday morning (by way of the monitor) with this awful chocking sound. I stumbled into his room and realized immediately what was happening. He remained in a semi-comatose state almost the entire day. He became semi-lucid long enough to berate me for not letting him hold the water jug. At the time I was giving him water through a syringe and had emptied it. He would not let me refill it. He wanted to keep "pouring" it in his mouth. I was so delighted that he awoke enough to fuss at me. He has had no food or drink other than precious little water for three days now. He is putting out little urine and is producing more and more mucus as the day goes on. We have no other recourse than to finally admit that Kenny is dying. I do not think he can survive many more hours, certainly no more than a day. I will update tonight after the doctor has been here. The nurses and aides all agree that this is truly the beginning of the end. Keep Larry and Kenny in your prayers. Pray that Jesus will meet Papa soon and lead him home...in peace.

Good new! Chariots a-coming and I don't want it to leave me behind....

Last night was a very peaceful night. Kenny slept well until about 6 AM. I got up several times during the night just to make sure he was still breathing. He seemed peaceful and calm. At 6 I changed him and gave him a dose of Methadone and he went back to sleep until about 10 AM at which time he said he was hungry. He only ate four spoonsful of oatmeal and drank a little chocolate milk and wanted no more. He spent the rest of the day in a semi-awake state. He is able to communicate sometimes quite lucidly for about 2 minutes and then it seems as if he just goes off to some other place and/or time. He asked me to get him up once (which I am unable to do anymore because he is so weak; he cannot help himself at all.) I explained to him that I could not lift him and he seemed to not care one way or the other. It may be that by the time I finished explaining, he was off in his other world. He is seeing something that I cannot see because he keeps reaching for it. I asked him what he saw; he said it was something soft and fuzzy. Maybe angels do have wings!

He is not nearly so cold as he has been in the past. I have had the thermostat turned up a bit and have left the doors to the front porch open. There has been a nice breeze in addition to the fact that we seem to be having a few early autumn days here in Murrells Inlet. The pups and I sat out on the porch most of the morning with the monitor so that I could hear him if he needed me but I could enjoy the gorgeous day and nice breeze. It was a nice reward for me since I did not get to go to the mountains as we had planned. Mountains or Marsh...both have been God's gift to me this summer. Not a bad deal at all.

I am not at all sure where we are going in the short term. I do feel very strongly that he is weaker every day and is less and less present. The times of lucidity are few and fleeting. Most of his "awake" time is spent staring at something that we are unable to see. He seems at peace which is a blessing for us all. He appears to be waiting...for Jesus, I think.

When my way grows dream, Precious Lord, linger near. When my life is almost gone, hear my cry, hear my call, hold my hand lest I fall...Lead me home.

Time is slipping away as is Kenny's sojourn here on earth. Today, he did manage to drink some chocolate milk and ate a bit of Maltomeal for breakfast, but that was the extent of the physical nourishment he got today. However, he was blessed with much spiritual food. Loran, his Hospice chaplain came over while my precious friend Ann was here and was still here when Chad and Savannah (and later Jessie) arrived. It was such a blessing to have all of them around his bed, loving him and wishing him on his way. Loran has such a warm spirit and such a call to ministry to those like Kenny. He has been such a gift to us during these last few months.

I sat in Papa's rocking chair after everyone had left and just kind of hummed and sang to him. He seems to be so at peace. But he did say to Jessie when she came back after taking Chad to meet his friend, "Let's get this show on the road." As I said, he is ready. I told him there was nothing to be worried about. He would just leave one room and move into another much more beautiful and wonderful He replied, "I know that!" And he does.

Today was the second day that Ann has come by. She, like Loran, has such a spirit. She is so loving to Papa. She brought him flowers yesterday. Today she just brought herself which was even better. She has just been an incredible source of strength for me. As I said last night, we are truly blessed to have the support of friends and loved ones. I do not know if Kenny will make it through the weekend or maybe next week. It is so difficult to say but I do know that when death comes, it will come as a welcome friend, not an enemy, because it will simply come to loose him from the bonds of earth and allow him to go home. That is the hope of all of us who know not only who we are but whose we are.

When the darkness appears and the night draws near,
And the day is past and gone.
At the river I stand,
Guide my steps, hold my hand.
Take my hand, Precious Lord, lead me home.
~Tommy Dorsey~

I'm comin', I'm comin', for my head is bended low....

Today Kenny has been unable to leave his bed. He is back in diapers but not incontinent, just simply too weak to get up. Colleen came back this afternoon to check on him. He BP is no longer elevated and his heart rate is down to 54 today and is very regular, which in itself is an anomaly. He normally has an erratic heart rate but since day before yesterday when it decreased to 60 beats per minute, it has been slow but regulated...with the pacemaker, who knows. Maybe at the lower rate, it doesn't kick in. (You in the medical field know a heck of a lot more than I do. My speculation shows my ignorance, I am sure.)

He has eaten nothing and other than water to chase the Methadone every four hours, he has had nothing to drink. He complained about pain in his feet and lower legs but I think that was cramps from being in the same position for a number of hours.
I have not given him his regular medicine since last night at bedtime because his cognitive function is so poor that I cannot keep his attention long enough to get the meds in him. As I said, he is sleeping mostly and when I say sleeping, I mean it is almost like a coma...not an actual coma but he is so deeply asleep that he seems unconcious.

I ask your prayers for him. Please pray that God will be merciful and let him come home. Again, my own prayer for him is that he will go to bed in Murrells Inlet and wake up in Heaven. Gloria Deo.

Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on help me stand. I am tired; I am weary; I am worn...Lead me on, Precious Lord, Lead me home.

We think we are seeing the beginning of the final days. Kenny has grown steadily weaker in the past few weeks, but yesterday it was much more noticeable and today was a very poor day for him. His heart rate has slowed a bit; his attention span has dropped to almost nothing. He can barely help himself do anything and this morning he told me to call the undertaker, that he was dying. I gave him a nitroglycerine tablet to put under his tongue for chest pain and gave him an atavan for anxiety. His BP was elevated for a while (unusual for him) and each time I took his pressure I noticed that the pulse rate was slowing. He eventually calmed and went to sleep and slept all day. He had little to eat other than half a peach and half a bowl of Maltomeal for breakfast - a rarity since he normally eats a huge breakfast. I was supposed to accompany Larry tomorrow on the plane with the Coastal Carolina University football team to the Kent State game tomorrow night but in light of his declining condition, I have decided to forego the trip. My leaving tends to add to his anxiousness. Because of the seriousness of this decline, I will be giving short reports every day or two. Kenny has a history of making liars out of the docs and me so it is within the realm of possibility that he will bounce back. However, because of his strong desire to leave us for Heaven, I will be surprised if he is here in October. For our sakes, I hope I am wrong; for his, I pray I am right.

The Mercy Hospice personel have been just splendid as usual. Colleen, his nurse, came back this afternoon to give me some moral support, I think. I had begun to realize that I could not leave him in someone else's hands. I felt so much better when I got her report because it bears out what I have observed as a layperson. What a ministry it is to be a Hospice Doctor, Nurse, CNA, Chaplain, Social Worker or Volunteer. There is a real sense of spirituality and compassion for the ill and the elderly with every one of these people. The lady who runs it thinks it is just a business...I for one am glad she stays away from the patients. I know that it has to be run as a business but it is so much more. I thank God for all of the wonderful folks that have touched our lives through Papa's illness and through Mercy Hospice.

Changes are a-coming...

We are seeing very distinct changes happening to Kenny in the last couple of days. He is much weaker, is eating less and is increasingly inattentive. It is incredibly difficult to get his attention. He appears to not even hear but in actuality he is simply "in another world" most of the time. He is not in any more pain that he has been for the last 5-6 months. The methadone seems to be doing a more than adequate job of keeping the pain level down. As I stated the other day, he is sleeping more every day. Some nights he will sleep the entire night - as many as 15 hours a night sometimes; other nights he will be up four or five times, asking me what I am doing, which does not elicit an extremely sweet response at 3 AM. Other times he has to go to the "loo", as he says occasionally. Last night he talked all night...the entire night. It amazes me that in his sleep he has such a strong clear voice and awake, I am barely able to understand him sometimes. Curiouser and curiouser! He appears to worry a lot about his medications. This may spring from the fact that he has had so many to take for so many years that he had to be constantly vigilant about "pill time" for him and for Hyrtha. He told Ginger the other day that I was not giving him his meds like I was supposed to. Hell, my whole life is predicated on his medicine schedule. My alarm on my phone goes off every four hours for his methadone, alone. When I asked him why in the world he told Ginger that, he just looked at me and grinned. The old devil! He still shows his sense of humor occasionally. This morning, however, he was totally lacking in a sense of humor as he gave me hell for trying to keep him from falling on his face in the bathroom. He said I "rode his a-- all the time for no good reason." He says he will do what he thinks he should do. I try to remind him that Dr. Charlie told him that his mind lies to him all the time about what he is able to do. That is why he fractured five ribs in December. Well, that wasn't what he was talking about.

Ginger and I both had to tell him Tuesday that it was not practical for him to expect to get stronger. He keeps saying, "I just seem to be getting weaker." I just broke my heart to have to say, "Papa, you cannot expect to get stronger. It is just not going to happen." But it really upsets him. And boy have we seen him growing weaker this week. Loren Bulla, our Hospice Chaplain, was here today and expressed dismay at the change he saw in three weeks. He is so ready to "go home." He asked me how long I thought it would be. I told him that I hoped for his sake it would not be long. He is so tired of life as it is now. Kenny asked that we pray the Jesus will come and take him home so he can be with Hyrtha again. It is my prayer that he will go to sleep and wake up in Heaven. Please make that your prayer as well. God bless all of you for your faithfulness to us.

Home again, home again

After a week in the mountains at Eagle Rock, coming back to Murrells Inlet was a source of some confusion for Kenny. He was unsure of where he was. This past week has been a bit better except that he seems concerned that he is too weak to do certain things and does not grasp the concept that he is not ever going to be strong again. In truth, he is weaker every week; however, he still hangs in there. We are seeing a change in his sleep habits. With the exception of when I am not here, he sleeps through the night and many days awakes around midday. He sleeps much of the day in his recliner also. His appetite is waning a bit, except for sweets and breakfast. If he had his way, he would eat breakfast three times a day and have dessert at the end of each meal. Not a bad idea, actually.

Our week in the mountains was good for all of us because we felt a sense of accomplishment when he was able to sleep in his room that we had so meticulously planned. We did learn that the small shower (our only option for that particular bathroom) is not especially easy to use. We still have some adjustments to make to the shower mechanism itself. He and I nearly drowned giving him a shower but it was good for a laugh.

This last weekend, Larry and I went back up on Thursday (and came home on Saturday) to finish some furniture refinishing for Kenny's room. It was easily done and we both commented that furniture refinishing is a lot easier in 2009 than it was in 1967 and 68 when he and I and my mama did so much antiqueing (is that a word?) of old furniture. It was a many step procedure then. Today, once the piece is cleaned up, you can do it in one step. Now Papa has two small bed stands in his room that do not take up as much space as the original ones did. Larry was in his element. He should have been a woman. He loves nick-nacks (that was never on the spelling list)that go with decorating. He also loves to shop, a point of contention, I might add. I am not one for spending hours perusing shelves and aisles looking for bargains. I want to know where it is, get it, pay for it and go home. What is wrong with this picture? Anyway, we had a good time shopping together, something that we seldom get to do anymore.

I frequently say how much I appreciate all of you and your concern and your prayers. This weekend past was not a good weekend for most of our children to help us out by staying with Kenny so we had planned to leave about noon on Thursday and just come home late Friday. (You do what you can with what you have, don't you?) Larry was walking to the house in Conway after leaving our Suburban to be worked on and Kathy Faircloth, from our church, gave him a ride. He was talking on the phone (Say it isn't so!) and explaining that we would not be able to stay as long doing work in the new house because we had to get back to Papa. Kathy heard the conversation and offered to come over Saturday morning and stay when Jessie left so that we could stay a day longer. What a giving spirit she has! We were just overwhelmed by her kindness. God has been so good to us. He has showered us with blessings, many times when we least expect them. So many of those blessings are you all and your caring spirits. Thank you.

As most of you have gathered, we are just plodding along day by day, some more difficult than others. Most, though, are fairly good days, considering his condition. Thus far, Kenny has little pain from the cancer, few inconveniences due to incontinence and such, and few sleepless nights, so I consider that we are fortunate. It is my prayer for Kenny, that when his time comes, he will simply go to sleep and wake up in Jesus's arms. That might be next week, next month or next year. Nothing surprises me with him anymore. What a sense of survival he has! I guess that's why he will be 91 his next birthday. Keep us all in your prayers, please, as we keep you in ours. God bless each of you.

I am ready to chew nails...!

This is the second time I have started this "dad gum" blog. I am on my son-in-law's computer and it keeps sending me somewhere else and the last time I could not find my way back. We are in Beech Mountain, North Carolina, finishing up our 15-16 month building project. We brought Kenny with us and he has done really well. He continues to be very confused. This confusion seems to be the result of the metatasis of the cancer from the bladder to the liver. According to Ginger, his nurse, the liver toxins will cause confusion and confused he is. We have had episodes prior to this, but this is a day to day happening. He was not sure where he was or why we were here. He thought we encountered some kind of emergency on the trip up here and wanted to know what the paramedics had to say. He thought Larry was going back to the Inlet yesterday when he went to town. But I will say that he is sleeping through the night and sleeping a total of 14-15 hours at night. He awakes about 6:30 or 7:00 AM very wet but alert and ready to get dry and go back to sleep. When he gets up later, he is far more alert than before. At this time (5:30 PM) he is dozing on the sofa between ready his novel and the Charlotte Observer.

We are having glorious weather here - 70s versus 90s at home. We have had rain, of course, but all the windows are open and I am glorying in the cool air. We are here for a week to locate and iron out any "bugs" prior to turning the house over to the realtor for rentals. It is a great house, if I do say so myself. We have picked up some real bargains to furnish it and the furnishings are really special, I think. We hope the renters will agree. I will say that the kitchen is just fabulous. I love it and am going to hate to leave.

Kenny seems to be winding down. He spends much more time sleeping. Our quest is to make his last months or weeks or days as comfortable and as pleasant as possible. He is reliving much of his life in California - hunting, fishing, boating. Each "fantasy" is somehow related to one of those things and it continues for days. But at the same time he seems to be very present. It is an oddity to me. He knows people but doesnt remember present circumstances.

We are presently, as of two days ago, battling blood clots in the urine. Our really important goal now is to keep that bladder irrigated so that the clots continue to come out rather than blocking the ureter. We do not want to have to hospitalize him which we might have to do if we have to catherize him, so please pray that we will be able to avoid that. We will keep you posted as we go on. Stay tuned....

Time flies when you're having fun...or so they say.

Where has the time gone since the fifth? I can tell you that it has not been an uneventful twelve days. We have prepared for company from California; we have enjoyed our company from California and yesterday we said "Hasta la vista!" to our friends from California. These folks come out every other summer just prior to the big Renaissance Conference in July. The conference is in the east (usually Orlando) every other year and the "Inlet Rats" gather here for four or five of days before the conference and then all drive down to the meeting together. This summer it was so great for Papa to really be able to enjoy the company. They were all so solicitous of him (and of me, oddly enough) and each spent time talking to him, even 12 year old Curtis. We were even able to get Kenny out to go over to "Cedar Hill Landing" for supper one night and over to Jessie's for the kids to get together. (Savannah and Corrie Parkhouse met in Orlando two years ago and became fast friends and email buddies.)

I think it was good for Papa but also tiring. Last night, the first night without company was not a very good night (not sure there is any correlation whatsoever.) He has begun to have some low back pain which radiates around the hip area to the front of his thighs and settles in that muscle just above the knee. As a result we have decreased the dosage and increased the frequency of his methadone to see if that helps. He woke up 5 or 6 times last night; at 3:15 I caught him climbing out of the bed on the side where there is no bedrail. He was beating on the wall to get my attention since he had no bell on that side of the bed and no wheelchair in sight. He wanted me to make sure I got the knife out of the bed. When I said, "The what???" He looked at me and said, "There's no knife, is there? I guess I dreamed it. Oh well, I'll go pee while you're here!" I had to laugh, but I still fussed at him for climbing out of the bed and taking a chance on falling instead of calling me. He just shrugged and got in the wheelchair that I finally pushed into the room. After getting in the wheelchair, he just looked at me. I said, "What?" He said, "Aw Ginny, I love you. I'm waiting for you to smile." What am I to do? Just love him, I guess. Finally at 6:00, he asked me what I was doing; I told him I was trying to get some sleep. He said, "well, if you are not going to get up, I guess I'll go back to bed too." (As if he ever gets up at 6 AM.) I did manage another hour of sleep before he decided he might as well get up at 7:30. Needless to say, after doing six loads of laundry yesterday and getting up 6 times last night, I have been a zombie today. I think he and I are both looking forward to bed tonight.

We are changing nurses again. Our delightful Colleen has been transferred to admissions by Hospice so Ginger Lawrimore is our new nurse. One thing is for sure, everyone at Mercy Hospice is very professional, very loving and extremely helpful to all of us. Yesterday afternoon Loren, the chaplain, came over for a visit. He and Papa just hit it off so well. He was in Iraq as a chaplain and Papa loves to talk about his WWII experiences. He sent to Conway for a set of DVD's by the History Channel, America at War. It starts with the Revolutionary War and goes to the Iraq War. Loren is coming back next week or the week after and watch the first one with him. Kenny is really looking forward to his next visit. Loren is so wonderful with him. He has managed to get Kenny to open up and talk about Hyrtha's death and his own perhaps approaching more quickly than we might wish. He has a great talent for focusing both on the here and now and on what's ahead and how Kenny feels about it and what trepidations he may have. It is so comforting for us to have someone else also talking to him about spiritual matters.

It is hard to believe that summer is almost half over. I just got my tomato plants transplanted in my new "upside down patio garden". I was somewhat chagrinned to read that I could expect tomatoes about 60 days after transplanting them. Well, we'll have tomatoes in late August and September. However, the other day I rejoiced to discover I have 7 or 8 tomatoes forming now! I am so excited. I feel so accomplished finally being able to frow tomatoes, peppers, mint, rosemary, parsley and sweet basil and not have to leave the house. I have the planter on the landing on the other side of the "elevator" where I can easily reach it and water and fertilize it without having to go down the stairs. Wow! Such energy. I am sure you are all greatly impressed. Anyway, Kenny and I are anxioussly awaiting some home grown tomatoes and peppers.

Thanks to all of you for being such faithful readers. I will try to do better in the coming days. Sweet dreams.

What is cotton candy?

Needless to say, the last couple of days have been interesting and challenging. Saturday Morning about 3:00 (AM) Kenny rang the bell and when I asked him what he needed, he asked me. "What is Cotton Candy?" "It's spun sugar," I replied, "why?"
He was just wondering. When I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom, he said no, but he did have some numbness in his legs and couldn't move them. So, I rubbed them and moved them aroung a bit. Cotton Candy! What will we think of next?

The Fourth of July Picnic and World Famous Boat Parade was a great success. We had wonderful food to go along with our hot dogs and brats. Larry cooked them on the new grill that he put together...lots of work, but great results. It has a radiant section and also an extra small burner, and it looks great. We had about 25 friends over and it was just super to see everyone. We even had a precious, beautiful three-month-old young lady who stole the show. Miss Ava is an angel and everyone wanted to hold her.

All Hell broke loose last night. Kenny started his latest jaunt by deciding to do a lot of maneuvering in the bathroom after I warned him for the past four months that the more mooving around he did without holding on to a handrail or the wheelchair, the greater the chance of falling and hurtin himself. When he fell, Larry was out side I was waiting just outside the door. Needless to say, he was halfway in the shower and I had no help in getting him up. I was livid. Not only did he hurt his back but so did I. I let him know just what a stupid act I thought it was. Needless to say, that got his back up and things went downhill from there. When he went to bed at 9:30 (hallelujah, I thought!) he complained about his back hurting. I confess that I displayed little sympathy. I gave him extra Methadone at 8 PM and then at midnight, I planned to give him his sleeping meds along with more Methadone. Well, He rang me at 10:30 to go to the toilet, 1:00 AM to go to the toilet, 2:30 AM. 3:30 AM and 5:00 AM wanting to know when he could get some more pain meds. Well I gave him small doses (1cc) at 2:30 and at 5:00. At 5:30 he managed to crawl out of the other side of the bed, make it out the door and grap the wheelchair to walk himself to the bathroom. Well, I just completely lost it. Needless to say, today neither he nor I were fit company. He even said he was going to the VA hospital. They's be happy to have him. I proceeded to tell him to make very sure that's what he wanted to do, because they sure as hell wouldn't let him wear "pullup" briefs, but would put him in diapers and they certainly were not going to take him to the toilet every 30 minutes. Furthermore, I doubted they would offer him the meals that he gets here at the Biddle Hilton. Later on we both calmed down and came to a kind of truce. Then poor Larry is caught in the middle. He has a hard time understanding why Kenny is so ungrateful. I then had to tell him that this was my fight, not his. That I was mad with Kenny; he wasn't and to stay out of it. I then told him that Papa frequently espresses to me his gratitude, so just be quiet. Poor guy. He just could not win. I will be interested to see how we do tonight. I just seem to be unable to cope with long interrupted nights lately, but I do not know the answer unless it is to go back to the way it was when he came home from the hospital. He did not leave the bed to go to the bathroom...but that was an unholy battle also. I guess we are doomed to fight the Great Peein' Battle over and over and over again!

Little white lies....

Well, there is a tentative truce here at our house. Papa and I squared off last evening over him going to bed at 8:00 PM. I told him he had to wait til at least 9:00. He was furious; I was adamant. I relented at 8:45 and he pouted and evidently decided to pay me back. I woke up at 6:00 AM to find him pushing the wheelchair into the bathroom. He said he was not going to wake me up. As usual, he missed the point completely. The earlier he retires, the earlier he begins awake and then he's up and down till I am completely awake, then he goies back to sleep. I asked him this morning if he wanted me to help him back in the bed or did he want to do it himself. He said, "I got out of it by myself!" Then he allowed as how he might as well let me help him since he was worn out. I asked him what would happen if he fell when no one was with him. Was he willing to take a chance on breaking a limb or his hip? No answer.

Yesterday morning Larry and I woke up to find his bathroom light on. When Larry asked Kenny about it, he said he didn't want to wake me up so he managed to climb over or around the bedrail, grab hold of the wheelchair and push it to the bathroom. When I asked him about doing that, the story changed. He rang the bell five times and I did not come. (Now bear in mind that I can hear him breathe over the baby monitor and the bell nearly knocks me out of the bed. Hmmmm.) Colleen, his nurse, suggested that we not give him his sleeping pills until midnight when he has his last dose (or first dose) of Methadone. It has been working better, but he still fusses. My latest ploy is to have supper about 7 PM. It interrupts "Spin the Bottle" and Jeopardy but he will at least stay up a little longer. He still has the mind set that he needs to sleep 10 to 12 hours at night, but his body is rebeling, and we are caught in the middle.

Larry and I are really learning to use psychology to deal with him at times. It is a much more peaceful solution than losing our patience. We keep reminding ourselves that he is 90 years old and has been completely independent since he was 15. That is a difficult pattern to break. Let me tell you, he surrenders only when there is no other choice. I am sure that is one reason he has lived so long.

Today was a good day in toto. Rose, our wonderful one-day-a-week housekeeper, came over here today and probably will continue to do so. Papa adores Rose and she loves him so he was thrilled. We actually had time to leave and go to a funeral. A sad reason, but Larry and I got to go out together. We came home to a happy Kenny and a clean house. I manage the clean clothes and linens but the clean house has thus far eluded me. I guess it is clean enough to be be sanitary and dirty enough to be comfortable.

I will probably not blog again before the Fourth so here's hoping that all of you will comtemplate liberty this Fourth of July and pray God that we continue to be a free people and a light to the rest of the world. Blessings to all.

For whom does the bell toll? The bell tolls for...me!

Boy does it ever! Larry and I had a great two days in the mountains of North Carolina last Friday and Saturday. We finished getting supplies for the baths and the fans for the bedrooms as well as having the opportunity to watch the last of the granite being installed. It was such a blessing for me to be able to get away.

Things are just about the same here. Kenny is still going to bathroom about every 30 - 45 minutes when he is awake and "unoccupied". If he is watching a program on TV, he will go for an hour or more before going to the "latrine" as he calls it. I really think he is bored and has too much time to think. This morning he woke up at 4:00 , rang the bell and wanted to know what I was doing? I told him I was sleeping; was he ready to get up at 4 AM? No? Well why in the world did he ring the bell. No particular reason. I think his body is only requiring 7 hours of sleep a night but he thinks he should sleep longer so frustration takes hold and he lies in bed thinking about getting up, sleeping some more, his meds. the bathroom, the covers, me...who knows what all...any other time of day it would be funny but my sense of humor is decidedly lacking at 4 AM, knowing that I will probably not get back to sleep and will be up for a very long day. I have been known to throw a pity party. Po' po' pitiful me!

While we were gone last weekend, Kenny went out on the town with Jude', my sister-in-love (my baby brother's wife). Jude' took him to the beach and to the river where he said he looked at all the pretty women in bikinis. Then they went and got a milk shake and had a wonderful time. People are so great to him. His hospice nurse, Colleen is just a wonder. She spends so much time with him. She is a great liason for us. If we need a certain mind set from him, Colleen starts talking positively about the subject and he becomes much more amenable. Larry is getting ready to finish assembling our new gas grill down in the carport. I am thinking that I will take Papa down to supervise...what a hoot that will be. Frick and Frack for sure. I really need to do more of that but I just never seem to remember to do it. I guess my creative juices are running slow or low. He is looking forward to the Fourth of July picnic and the Murrells Inlet world famous boat parade. He gets to see lots of folks and the fireworks are great. Usually my nephew has some fireworks too but it seems that this year he will be out of town. Too bad!

This time of year, our minds frequently harken back to those days almost two and a half centuries ago when many of our great-greats were willing to put their lives and their fortunes on the line for a cause they believed was bigger than themselves. I wonder if we will ever see that kind of courage in this generation? Freedom is not free; the cost is frequently very high. Are we willing to pay the price today? Without that freedom, where would we be? Hard questions. We wish you all a great Fourth of July. May God bless American again.

What a friend we have in Jesus, He will all our burdens bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer...

Well, here I am again...ten days later. I have been exhausted and by the time I get time, I simply have not had the wherewithall to blog. Part of the reason is that I have been doing double duty. Larry had to have a second epidural but it looks like this one finished the job. He seems to be pain free. However he has been down for three days with an intestinal virus so he's really felt washed out...no pun intended. Today was the first day that I have had time to go over to Conway and check on the house and the cottage and weep over my dead hydrangea, my sick "mini-petunias" (thousand bells or some such) and to marvel at how well my Queen ferns tolerate neglect. Of couse I had lots of running to do since I was in the car but I will admit it felt good to be out.

I have spoken of Natasha before, I believe. She is the Hospice aide who bathes Kenny and washes his hair three times a week. Well, she was the victim of my erratic driving. Winston, our 2 year old Jack Russell, thinks that when the car leaves the carport he is supposed to be in it. He got in 5 times this morning before I was able to close the car door. I was so busy watching for him as I backed out of the carport, that I forgot about Tasha's car. Whoops! Now she and I both have to visit the body shop. She was really great about it though. Winston strikes again. By the time I got to Conway it was lunch time. Time flies when you're having fun?

Kenny is doing really well. He is in more pain and is battling some nausea so we have had to increase the pain meds and add something for nausea, but all in all, I think he is going very well. We are still going from "pee to pee". Colleen, his nurse is beginning to think that perhaps he is no longer able to completely empty his bladder which means that it feels full pretty quickly after he has had any little bit to drink or eat. The only real remedy for that would be to catherize him and we really do not want to subject him to a Foley any sooner than we have to because it means that we have to deal with blood clots blocking the tube which in itself is a major problem. In light of all of these negatives, we have opted to just continue to go from "pee to pee" ever 30 to 45 minutes during the day. At night it does not seem to be such a challenge. He is feeling a little weaker every day. We notice it most particularly when he is getting in and out of his wheelchair.
His equilibrium has not been the greatest in a while; now it is worsening as he weakens. Regardless of how weak or dizzy he may feel, he is still bright and great to be around. His memory, especially his long term memory is still just phenomenal.
He has enjoyed talking to some of you all in the last couple of days. One of the precious things about our friends, near and far, is that they love Kenny and love to talk to him when they get a chance. Last Thursday, our oldest granddaughter Lauren brought Larry back from the doctor after his epidural. After she got here, she spent almost an hour just sitting and talking to her Papa. I cannot tell you how much it meant to him. The older grandkids think he is so cool! And rightly so!

We are going through a really hot spell and we are battling Kenny over the ceiling fans. We end up bundling him up so we don't wilt. The last few evenings have been really pleasant though. The tides have been running very high and high tide has been during the early evening for a couple of days. The marsh has almost been covered - just some floating spartina grass. Just beautiful. Tonight it is just unbelievable. The moon must be full tonight. There is not a blade of grass showing anywhere. I wish you could all be here to enjoy it. Life is good inspite of the challenges. I was reminded of that yesterday morning during church. Fr. Tripp was preaching on Job 38 and Mark 4 & 5. In Job, God asks him, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Do you understand who marked off it's dimensions...have you ever given orders to the morning or shown dawn it's place?" At times I can relate to how Job must have felt, and then I am reminded once again that God is God. Nothing surprises Him, nothing is impossible with him and He is sovereign. In spite of the circumstances, I, like Job, believe in His goodness. In Mark we were studying about Jesus having dominion over all things...calming the storm, casting out the demons, sending them into the herd of pigs and then stampeding them into the sea. Fr. Tripp reminded all of us (but especially me) that God frequently gives us more than we can handle but He never gives us more than Christ can handle. What comfort that gives me. I realize once again how often I try to handle things myself rather than taking my burden to Jesus.

Keep us all in your prayers, please...that Kenny's pain will lessen, that my patience will increase, that Larry will begin to feel more like himself and that all three of us will make the most of the time left to us as a family. Pray that we will not fail to call upon the strength that only comes from Christ. God bless all of you for your faithfulness to us in your thoughts, your words and your prayers.

Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them....

Chicken Little checking in...reporting that the sky is not falling. In fact, since the episode on Wednesday, Kenny seems much better. I think perhaps he has finally recuperated from his two days in the hospital. I have finally given up the fight about when he sleeps in bed and when he gets up. The other day, Thursday, I think, when I went in to give him his pain meds, I asked if he was ready to get up. He said no. "Well, go back to sleep then." And he did. Slept until 11:00. I have decided that he can do pretty much whatever he wants since he lives so dangerously.

We have had some challenges with the oxygen machine and with running into doors with the wheel chair and bumping toes, etc. but in the scope of things we're doing pretty well lately. Papa's friend Venus calls him every other day to check on him and to pray for and with him. We have received wonderful emails (and some great comments on the blog) In fact. Larry was just talking our friends, Tim and Donna Wallace, in Mesa, AZ and Tim was talking about reading the blog a couple of times a week to just keep up with things. They have been wonderful friends to us and to Kenny and Hyrtha for many years. They are originally from Hickory Tavern, SC (up near Laurens) but moved to Mesa when they were young "kids". They help us so much with the house out there since it is difficult for us to keep an eye on things at this great distance. Tim has our dependable 1988 Buick Century Estate Wagon inspected each spring and drives it occasionally just to keep it running. When they have company and need an extra car, sometimes they use "White Light'nin". I am amazed daily at how blessed we are with our friends - from sea to shining sea, from the mountains and foothills to the desert. Thank you one and all.

As I said, things have calmed down here at the Inlet. Kenny and Larry are looking at the College World Series in Omaha on television. They each watch a bit, then doze a bit. Like father, like son. Keep us all in your prayers, especially Kenny that his last days or weeks or months - whatever the case may be - will be comfortable and as uneventful as possible, that he will not be in pain and that we will be able to meet his needs, both physical as well as emotional and spiritual. He told Venus the other day that he was ready to go, that he was looking forward to seeing Jesus and his honey (Hyrtha). He asked me last evening why I thought he was still here. I told him I did not know but that I did know that when the time was right that Jesus would send for him. He said, "I guess so." Bless his heart. And bless your hearts for your constancy and love for us.

"The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" (Chicken Little)

If today is June 10 when you are reading this, you may want to go down one entry and read my first entry from this morning. It will help you to understand this entry. What an eventful day!

Well, Dr. Biddle is seriously thinking of just retiring from her "medical practice". Obviously I do not know my head from a hole in the ground. After telling all of you that obviously Kenny is getting ready to "kick the bucket", he rings the bell at 3:00 PM and announces that he has to pee and he's hungry...for his breakfast. He is still kind of spacey but at least he is present at least part of the time. So this is just to let you know that I have good news...Papa's going to hang around a while longer and I will try to not be "Chicken Little" again and alarm everyone. I will say that as a result of my jumping the gun, I got a call from Carol Prinzo, our wonderful friend and retired nurse in California and she was such a help to me. By talking to her I was able to put into words some of the questions I didn't realize I had. She was also able to reassure me. Thanks, Carol. That is just one more example of how wonderful you all are to us, what a source of comfort you are and how we continue to be blessed by your friendship and your love.

GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU!

I would give everything I own, just to see you once again....

That's where I believe we are. The last five days have been "winding down" days for all of us but especially for Kenny. Each day he has slept a little bit more. Yesterday he stayed all day in his recliner and slept almost the entire time. He did eat a really good supper and stayed up to watch High Noon with me on the TV. I gave him his meds at 11:30 last night and that is the last time he has really been coherent. This morning, I went in to wake him at 8:00 and we finally made it to the bathroom but that was the extent of it. I managed to get him back in the wheelchair and pushed him to the breakfast table but he was a zombie. He spilled his coffee all over the table but other than that, he was unable to do a thing. When Tasha got here to bathe him, we decided to simply put him back to bed. That is where he remains to this minute. My sister Jude' came down and stayed with him for me to go to the pharmacy and buy some different kind of "diapers" since I will be unable to use his "pullups" if he remains in this condition. I pray that I am up to this challenge; he is difficult to handle outside of the bed when he is as he is now. I think he may not be leaving the bed again. I hope I am mistaken. His and Hyrtha's friend, Venus Hayes from Napa,CA, called this morning to check on Kenny. She normally calls every other day but she felt like she had better call this morning. It seems that he told her yesterday that he thought the end was near. It think that may be happening. He has not urinated since yesterday afternoon. He has drunk nothing since supper when he had a glass of milk, except for the sips of water needed to take his meds. I do not believe he is in any pain. He seems quite peaceful but remains mostly unresponsive to almost all stimuli. I would imagine that he could continue like this for a number of days. Please keep us all in your prayers and especially pray that Kenny will not linger but that his passing will be easy and painless. Thank you all for your faithfulness in keeping in touch with us and for persevering with me through this on-again, off-again blogging that I don't do very well. We are so blessed by your friendship and your love for all of us and by your prayers in our behalf. Thank you all so much.

Dream, dream, dream, dream......

As I was telling you all yesterday morning, Kenny was asleep. He slept until noon, got up and had his bath, ate his breakfast, went out to the front porch to look at the birds, the marsh and the newspaper and fell asleep after 10 minutes. He slept all afternoon. At about 5:00 PM he went to the bathroom and then went to his recliner and slept for 2 hours more till I woke him up for supper. After supper he went back to sleep in his chair till he decided to go to bed at 9:45. He awoke for the first time at 11:00 this morning.

He reports that his belly hurts every time he eats something. (I am not sure where this is going; I'll have to ask the Hospice nurse when she comes.) This is a new wrinkle for us so we will deal with the pain and let the docs decide what the actual challenge is and if, indeed, they feel the need to do anything other than keep him comfortable.

My cohort in crime goes to the orthopedist this morning for an epidural. Let's pray that it will get him back on his feet. Having both of them down is tough on me and on Larry for that matter. We have heard from a number of you. Thanks so much for your prayers and concern. We appreciate your thoughts and your support.

That was the week that was....

Sunday afternoon after lunch, I had to go out to the market for a few things that I failed to bring over from Conway. When I got back home, Kenny asked if I would take him to the bathroom. As he sat down, he looked at me and said, " Ginny, I think I am having a heart attack." After three nitro tablets with no relief and a call to the Hospice nurse, we called 911. The whole emergency entourage arrived within 10 minutes and they also thought he was having a heart attack. After arguing about which hospital to take him to (I did not realize that I could demand that they take him to Conway where they know his history, etc.), we headed to Grand Strand Regional Medical Center in Myrtle Beach (a very fine heart facility)where I had to make absolutely certain that they all understood that we had a DNR(do not resusitate) order which meant that they had to be very circumspect about what tests they ran, what scans they did (no dye because of his kidneys,no heart catherization, etc.) To make a long story a bit shorter, the hospitalist (hospital physician) understood our position and worked well with him and with us. Finally on Tuesday morning (yesterday) Papa was discharged. Dr. Shelver decided that he did not have a heart attack; the enzymes remained normal. But the CHF (congestive heart failure) is back and they think that is what caused the event of Sunday afternoon. We are home again in Murrells Inlet and he fells pretty good. He was wiped out as far as energy went yesterday. I tried to explain that was to be expected after two days in hospital but I am not sure he believed me. Anyway, right now it is Wednesday morning about 10:15 and he is still asleep. Since they gave him massive amounts of Lasix to rid him of so much fluid (I think he peed to his heart's content those two nights!)that I do not imagine he slept much in the hospital, but then who does sleep there? I have decided to let him sleep as long as he wants today.

Upon leaving the hospital and arriving in Murrells Inlet, I stopped by Lee's Farmers Market to pick up some Vidalia onions and some tomatoes for BLTs. On the marquee outside, the market always advertises the specials and Kenny evidently noticed the Maine lobsters at $7.99 per lb. because when he got home and decided to take a nap, he called me back into the room and wanted his wallet. I asked why on earth he wanted his wallet. He told me to get some money and go back and buy 3 lobsters for supper. I told him that maybe we should wait until tomorrow to have lobster. He replied, "No, let's have them tonight; I might not be here tomorrow." So we had lobster, corn on the cob and new potatoes for supper (dinner to some of you)and ice cream for dessert. What a feast!

It is interesting that at his age Kenny wants everything instantly. And he expects me to do it instantly. Even if I finally just sat down to eat. Maybe I will lose weight after all. George and Jude', my brother and sister-in-law came down and helped us remove the door to the bathroom which was very narrow and difficult to maneuver with the wheelchair. He now has a very nice curtain hanging over the doorway to give him privacy but we still are able to get the chair into the bathroom rather than leaving it in the little hallway and me trying to squeeze by it to help him. After 5 months I found a baby monitor that will allow me a little privacy but still be able to hear him if he needs me. It picks up the "liberty bell" very well.
My time is really stretched at the present time. Larry has a disc problem in his lower spine and it is causing him excruciating pain. He is simply unable to stand or walk for more than a little while, so that means that the "fetching and toting" falls on me at the moment which in turn leads to a frayed temper from me occasionally. I told him yesterday just not to worry, he would get his opportunity to help me when I finally have my knee replacement...way in the future, I am afraid.
So Larry will have an epidural in his spine tomorrow to hopefully aliviate the terrible pain so that he will be able to head to Gulfport and Biloxi, Mississippi early next week. Please pray that the injection does the trick.

This has been overly long. Sorry. I will attempt to blog more frequently and less verbosely in the future. God bless all of you and thanks so much for the .ove and the prayers.

I won't dance, don't ask me!

Well, a very eventful week has passed and I have been so lax in blogging. Ah well.
Kenny has done pretty well this past week. He has some swelling in his feet but his lungs sound fairly clear so no one seems to be overly concerned. He has been sleeping well but still interprets my insistence on his not retiring at night before 9:00 as thinking he sleeps too much. He cannot seem to wrap his thinking aroung the fact that if he goes to bed at 7PM, his sleeping meds have worn off by about 3 AM and after that he dozes and every thirty minutes thinks perhaps he should try to pee. The downside to that is that he awakens me every thirty minutes and I end up a zombie for the entire day since I cannot go to be along with him at 7 or 8. Anyway Dr. Charlie addressed that last night. Hopefully Papa has a better understanding of why I feel the way I do.

Loren, the Hospice chaplain, came over for a visit on Thursday and he brought his laptop to show Papa photos from Iraq when he was over there in the service. He is such a nice guy and Kenny enjoys his visits so much. Hospice has such a great organization and it is such a help to those of us who are depending on them

We moved down to Murrells Inlet last evening after the doctor's visit to Kenny and to Larry. Larry seems to have a neurological challeng in his back that is causing some Sciatica-like symptoms. He is in terrific pain. Last night Kenny was in a snit about coming to the Inlet where, admittedly we are not as handicap-friendly as his little three room cottage in Conway. He was snapping at me and I told him I was not going to allow him to talk to me that way. He said to just leave him alone, he was pissed! (his words) I asked him if he was pissed because of coming to the Inlet. He said yes. He did not want to come. Well...friends, I kind of lost it! I told him that I was just really sorry about that but that I had spent the last 5 months waiting on him hand and foot 24 hours a day, sleeping on a sofa and going back and forth to my house to dress every day...and that I had had 2 days off in 5 months. He would just have to adjust. I left him sitting on the pot and when I went back 10 minutes later his attitude was a bit different. However this morning he said that maybe we should call the VA and see if they had a place for him, so I guess today we will suffer the "poor pitiful me's today." As you can tell, today I do not have a lot of sympathy. Maybe tomorrow.

The weather is overcast and warm today. He may go out on the porch a little later. If any of you are in the area, "y'all come!"

Splish splash, I was takin' a bath, long about Friday night...Splish splash, I jumped back in the bath. How was I to know there was a party going on?

Greetings after a weeks hiatus. We had a great two days in the North Carolina mountains checking on Eagle Rock, our almost-complete mountain house. It was an expensive weekend but worth it for me, at least. When we paid our sitter for the 48 hours of staying with Kenny, I believe we realized just how much my labor with him is worth on the market. I believe I could get a job doing this and we could easily survive the "crunch"! Anyway, we came home to a much appreciative Papa. He decided that I was okay. Nobody else knew quite how to do things right.

He has been doing really well with the exception of some occasional blood in his urine - something that we have to expect with this bladder cancer. Well now, we go from "pee to pee", pink to clear. I am sure that it is disturbing to him but we have tried to explain that this is going to be an ongoing condition that will not change. He and I have finally developed a kind of cheerleading attitude. "Yay, it clear!"

He told Jessie the other day that he was going to live a whole lot longer. And then yesterday he developed some pain in his lower abdomen which did not diminish immediately and he began to fret and then he got the jitters. Then he started having some tightness in his chest which led to him telling me that I had to give him a "triple dose of pain killer." I had already doubled his dosage so I told him that he had to give the meds time to work. In the meantime I call Ann, the hospice nurse on call, and she advised me to use the nitro and also to give him an Atavan for the shortness of breath and pain. He then decided that I needed to call Charlie and remind him of their bargain. (He thinks Dr. Sasser told him he would play "Kevorkian" for him, which he definitely did not.) I then informed Kenny that if he thought that Charlie had made such a bargain that he must have dreamed it. I reminded of what he actually told Papa. He let him know that he was not in the business of ending life, of only making his life more comfortable while it lasted. Well, Kenny did not like that and decided that he would just go to bed...at 6:00, without supper, which he did. Of course at 4:00 AM this morning he was wide awake. Last night we caught him twice climbing out of the bed, over the bedrails. I awoke this morning at 4:00 to the sound of the toilet flushing. He had climbed out of the bed, pushed the wheelchair to the bathroom, washed himself, changed his "pullups" and his shirt, brushed his teeth, peed and was on his way back to bed when I caught him. I asked him why he didn't ring the bell. "I didn't need to!" I was furious and he was furious that I was furious. I got him back in the bed and hid the wheelchair telling him he would have to walk to the bathroom the next time he tried something like that. And furthermore, if he fell and broke something, he'd end up in the hospital again and if he didn't like it here, he'd really not like it there. He would not have a slave handy to wait on his butt day in and day out! (I really know how to win friends and influence people, don't I.) I went back to bed, fretted for two hours and made him lie in the bed for three hours before I would let him up. (I am not a bit vindictive either!) This is further evidence to me that the more drugs we have to give him, the squirrelier he gets. He informed me awhile ago that the reason he took himself to the bathroom was that people were all over the house partying until after 4:00 AM and there was nobody to help him. We told him that we went to bed at 11:30 and that we did not encounter any revelers. (The higher the dosage, the wilder the dreams.)

I find it interesting that when I manage a day off or even a morning off, the work load becomes very interesting when I return. I am beginning to realize that change in routine, regardless of how trivial, has a cost and an effect on him. It makes perfect sense; I just had not figured it out. All of this tells me that the next few days will no doubt be eventful and interesting. I will keep you posted. Stay tuned....

Over there, over there, send the word, send the word the Yanks are coming...over there!

Kenny's interview with Pat Gable of the Veteran's Herald went very well and Pat did a terrific job. You can see it online at www.veteransherald.com. I hope that all of you enjoy it. Kenny is such a great story-teller and his memory is still phenomenal as you will see. We are hoping to figure out a way to get him to talk about all of his adventures so that we can get it on video. I have always regretted that we did not get to do that with my mama. She also had an incredible memory and loved to talk about her life and especially the funny incidents. I see a lot of correlation between the two of them even to being "journey proud" the eve before a big event. I am not sure where the expression comes from but normally Mama used it to describe her inability to sleep well the night before going on a trip, but also just prior to a big event. Papa did not sleep well night before last because he was anxious about his big interview. It was worth being "journey proud" for a night.

We are doing well. Papa is resting better now that the interview is over. He is eating well...especially once I figured out that it was better to serve him on a salad plate so that he did not feel that he was eating so much. Frankly to me it looks like more but he realizes, I guess, that there is less food on the smaller plate. The things that I have learned from this experience! I can prepare a good meal in 30 minutes or less including dessert...that is if I get organized before hand and visit the freezer in the morning to choose a meat or fish. I wish I had been better organized when the kids were small, but, as Marshall and Casey would say, "How much organization does it take to fry a bologna sandwich?" Oddly, those are the memories that stuck, not the nutritious hot suppers I cooked. "I don't get no respect!" (to quote Rodney Dangerfield.)

This may be the last blog until Sunday, the 17th, since we are leaving early in the morning for Beech Mountain, NC to check on our construction up there. I want to ask a favor of some of you. I know that Kenny would really appreciate hearing from you. It would be great if you all would drop him a line, give him a call, send him a post card or you may email him. I will check it daily and print them out. Please do not send any forwards, only personal messages to him. I do not have time to sift through the funny stories or jokes to get to the real stuff. Thanks for your understanding.

We hope that all of you are doing well. We value your friendship and your messages of support and love. All of you are treasures without measure. God bless each of you.

Time after time, I tell myself that I'm so lucky to be loving you...

And I do love him. Kenny is so precious, even when I want to wring his neck, I still adore him. He is doing so well mentally. He is still sharp as a tack. He is tiring physically, but mentally he's still going strong. He is still trying to figure out if I would rather him wet his "pullups" during the day or have him "ring for me to take him to the 'latrine'." Also he has yet to figure out why I was upset with him for going to bed at 7 PM the other night. Today he told the nurse that we thought he was sleeping too much. I had to explain again that going to bed so early was my challenge, not how much he sleeps. I told him he could sleep all day in his chair. I finally simply said, "If you insist in going to bed early, you will not receive your sleeping pills until 9 or 9:30 - no earlier!" That is also what I told Laura today. Laura McCormick sat with Nanny (Hyrtha) after her stroke. She has been so wonderful. She stops in occasionally to check on Kenny. She has agreed to come and stay with him this weekend so that Larry and I can go up to North Carolina mountains to check on our house we and the kids are building. I am really looking forward to getting away for a little while. Add us to your prayers that Kenny will fare well without us and that we will have a safe and fun trip.

Speaking of being sharp as a tack, some of you may remember that last summer he was interviewed by Greg Everett on our local FOX affiliate TV station. Greg was really fascinated with Kenny's incredible memory. Well, he is sending one of his reporters over tomorrow to interview him again focusing on his military service during WWII, especially his stint in the Far East when he served under General Claire Chennault. Kenny is a wonderful story teller and is great talking about his experiences during that time during the war. As soon as we find out when it will be shown, we will let you all know how to access it on the Internet.

Things are looking up for us to try to spend some time at the Inlet. I even got a wonderful email from my friend Ann Rymski in New York State. She and her husband spend two weeks at the Inlet almost every fall. In the letter, she went into great detail as to how I could make the house more handicap accessible. I have it saved. I will print it out and may use it as a blueprint for what to do. I felt really good today when Sherry (Papa's nurse) told Kenny that she thought it would be very good for him to go to the Inlet. She feels like he could use the change of scenery, especially since it is only a 30 minute trip; sitting on the porch and watching the birds and marsh would be really therapeutic for him. (It will truly be therapeutic for me too!) Now if I can just find one of those upside tomato planters that I can take over there with me and maybe plant some basil and mint, I will be really ready for summer. So, if we get down there, y'all come....

Happy Mothers' Day

We have had a fairly uneventful week until this morning. At 7:00 AM I went inside the "big house" to get dressed and to water my hanging baskets before it got too hot. I walked into the cottage at 7:15 and "what to my wondering eyes..." - a wheel chair being pushed by Kenny. He had to pee and he couldn't get me to respond to his bell. Well, needless to say, we had to have a meeting of the minds about the purpose of wearing disposable underwear and I asked him what he would do if he fell? He told me that he would not be able to get up...and " if you break your hip when you fall?" "Oh I would not like that. That would be tough." You'd better believe it would be tough! Then, would you be surprised that he was really tired all day? Just could not imagine why! So at 7:30 tonight he is ready for bed. I might add that he has been up twice since then to go to the bathroom. It appears that my night will be lively tonight. Last night was lively too. The AC is off upstairs in the "big house" so Larry slept with me on the double futon last night...along with Winston Churchill, our Jack Russell, who joined our other "bird russell" or "deer Russell" - Gypsy, who sleeps with me. Prissy, the pomeranian was not to be outdone. She slept in the recliner adjacent to the futon and everytime Winston got up (4 or 5 times) to check things outside, she would moan to me begging for his spot in the bed, and Gypsy would sit up at the foot of the bed waiting for him to come back. Needless to say, I invited LB to sleep on the hide-a-bed inside the house tonight. I guess you could say the honeymoon is over.

Papa has gotten used to me answering his bell so he rings it even if Larry is sitting right next to him. Today he startled Larry by ringing the bell for me to come take him to the bathroom...have I made myself indespensable? Seems so. I keep trying to retrain him to call the closest one to him; it does not seem to be working.
In addition to that, he still has the idea that he should not drink alot so that he will "not have to pee so much." He really does not seem to grasp how lucky he is to be able to pee. We have all tried to explain to him what happens if he deprives himself of fluids...he remains unconvinced, I fear. Life continues to be interesting around here. The adventure continues, thank heavens.

I hope all of you mothers out there have a wonderful day and that all of your family members truly appreciate you. I certainly do. Happy Mothers' Day!

The simple things of life...

This will probably be short. Just a note to let everyone know that things are going well. Hospice is changing things a bit, in an effort to simplify the routes that the CNAs (Certified Nursing Assistants) travel to take care of the many different Hospice patients. Tammy Rutledge, our CNA, has been switched to another area and we are heart broken. Melissa will take her place and Melissa is a wonderful young woman, but we just love Tammy so much and we feel like she is ours. Papa told her we were going to put Melissa through her paces...but I told him we could not do that. Melissa nor Tammy had any say so in the decision. I can understand the need to make the routes as simple as possible so that the CNAs don't criss-cross the parts of three counties that Hospice serves. So I think we will keep a stiff upper lip and hope to see Tammy every now and then. Of course, the CNA's job here at the Biddles' is less complicated than it was. Kenny is so much better and is physically able to do a lot for himself so the bathing can now be done in the bathroom rather than the bed. Changing from the taped diapers to the "pull ups" made a huge difference in his attitude. He told me the other day that he would never take for granted such a simple thing as going to the toilet (latrine or urinal, he calls it.)
And isn't that true? Don't we often take for granted the little things? I know I do.

This week has been a good one for all of us. I have had some help from Larry, Courtney and Jessie so that I could get out a bit. Yesterday, Margaret -my baby sister- and I went to Charleston to take my car to be serviced. We were gone most of the day and I felt like a bird loosed from a cage. What a great time we had, both of us: Margaret resting and relaxing after the "wedding-a-thon" last week and I just getting out for a day. Tonight Jessie and her family (minus Chad, who is in California cutting his album with his band) came over and spent the evening with Papa so that Larry and I could go over to Litchfield for a get-together. When Jessie is here, Kenny has her almost undivided attention. She loves her granddaddy and he loves her. She and Courtney both spoil him rotten. But we all agree that he is deserving of all the spoiling we can do.

Tonight while we were out, we went by our place in Murrells Inlet. How I miss it! We are trying to figure out how we can make it a bit more "handicap friendly". I think it will mean removing some of the furniture. But we both agree that it would be great for him to be able to go over and spend some time on the porch watching the tide come in. The red-wing blackbirds, along with the blue jays and the swallows should be soon hatching their babies and it will be wonderfully noisy, especially early in the morning. Please pray that we will be able to accomplish getting Kenny over there for a week or so.

Thanks so much to all of you for your encouragement. We truly appreciate your support and love.

Life is just a bowl of cherries?

Life is getting a little more settled, I think. We are all managing a bit better. This afternoon, Kenny decided to take advantage of the fact that I was in the "big house" making some iced tea and Larry was sleeping in the chair in the living room. He needed to go to the "urinal" ( I told him I have no urinals except those plastic things we brought hom from the hospital!) and he decided to get himself there by "pedaling" the wheelchair to the bathroom. He confessed when I came back in the cottage, saying, "I won't do that again!" I am surmising that it wore him out. He did sleep most of the afternoon. The Turkey! He is feeling much better. We are beginning to solve some of his less dangerous but nonetheless uncomfortable maladies (like hemorroids); did you know that compounding pharmacies even make suppos-itories? Rectal Rockets, they call them. More info than you all needed? Sorry!

The weather is just gorgeous. I think I will try to take him out for a short walk tomorrow. It is this time of year that I miss staying at the Inlet (for those who do not know, that is our place near the beach, on the salt marsh south of Myrtle Beach.) He always enjoys being able to sit on the screen porch and have his coffee or his lunch and watch the birds and enjoy the breeze. Although we do have a "lift" there, the house itself is a bit over-populated with furniture to be handicap-friendly, so I do not think we will be able to spend much time over there this summer. Seems to me I have already told you all that. Good grief! I am starting to repeat myself. Sorry! Anyway, back to the weather. We have had no rain in the last longest and with the horrible forest fires about which I am sure most of you have heard, things are a bit dry and a bit hazy part of the time. Usually in the evening when the wind shifts, we can smell the smoke. Thank heavens they are almost out; just some smoldering areas that will require vigilance on the part of the fire fighters. In spite of the lack of rain, our trees are bright green and all of our magnolias (12, I think) are covered in buds. We should have some beautiful blossoms in a couple of weeks. Maybe I can figure out how to post pictures. We have a great on of Harrison, Benjamin and Papa that we want to post. I'll see if I can surprise you all with that tomorrow. Good Night!

A diller, a dollar, a ten o'clock scholar...

I cannot believe that five days has passed since I was last here on the blog. Apologies to those of you faithful who wonder if I had quit. This last week has just passed in a blur. You would think that it had been my daughter who was married rather than my niece. I was truly just worn out and I didn't have the wedding. Go figure!

I will say that last Saturday was the beginning of a great improvement in Kenny's daily life. First, he no longer is wearing diapers but rather "pull ups" (disposable briefs) which make him so much more comfortable and feel so much freer. I am working a little bit more but that matters little. He is able to tell me when he needs to go to the bathroom and I can push him there and he can take care of those personal matters almost completely by himself. He feels so much better and more in control - and indeed he is more in control. He really has very good days and restful nights, which makes all of us more content. He had visitors yesterday - two Laurens. The hospice social worker Lauren, and the hospice chaplain, Lauren Bulla. He and the chaplain hit it off really well and I think he will enjoy that relationship. Lauren, the social worker, is pregnant and due in September so he will look forward to that. It is nice when he has visitors because it gets his mind off of the fact that he is tired of sitting around. I think his little butt and his back get really tired. We have graduated to a memory foam pillow for him to sit on to aliviate some of that discomfort.

He asked me if I had heard from The Hundredth, Chad's band. (Chad is our oldest grandson, 20.) They left Saturday afternoon for California by way of Phoenix. They are making an album in CA and drove straight through to Mesa where we have a house (Papa's house). They were strictly illegal because the house is in a retirement village and without Kenny or us there, they were not supposed to stay. So we told them to keep a very low profile. Actually, I imagine that they slept all day and waited til almost dark to investigate the area. I do think that the kids enjoyed having a place to rest since they drove straight through - all 2221 miles.

We had a little scare Monday morning. Papa told me that he has some really tight "bands" constricting his chest that were painful. I grabbed the nitro and the tension eased after three. I think this had something to do with fatigue. He had a busy weekend and he was literally worn out. We have had no repeat of the "bands" so I am hoping that was simply being tired. Other than that, he is really doing well and eating well also. He has talked to a number of his friends from out west and that did him a world of good. Anytime you all have a chance to call him, please feel free. If he initiates the call, it is usually around 9AM here which means 6 or 7 AM out where you are, so it might suit you better to call him (843-248-3234). One morning, we were up exceptionally early and he had finished breakfast by 8:00 so he thought he would give Venus a call in Napa, CA. I had a hard time convencing him that she would probably not be awake at 5 AM. He kept saying "Well, she's an early riser." That early?

I'll be in touch tomorrow, no doubt. 'Til then...blessings and love to all of you.

A funny thing happened on the way from the wedding...

I commented last evening that Kenny was anxious to go to bed last night. Well, no wonder! I found out today that he got his eight PM meds twice - once at 8PM and again at 8:45 PM when I took him home. Then I fell asleep blogging last night and woke up at 1:30 AM and gave him his midnight meds. He slept through the night and was still "druggy" this morning.

We were all pretty washed out today. He took 2 naps and watched the Taladega Nascar race this afternoon.

He told me tonight as I put him to bed that he is having some "spasms" that feel kinda of like something tightening" in his chest for the last couple of days. So, off I go looking for the Nitro!!! After 2 nitro tablets, he felt better. Is this the beginning of another stage? I don't know. I guess we'll find out this coming week.

He has had a good day. He seems to be excited that he can now "sit on the pot". I think that he feels like he has made huge strides. I hope this lasts for a while. It is so much easier on him and on me as well.

It's a new day...

After a hiatus of three days in which I ran from pillar to post , I am pleased to report the wedding is over. It was a grand affair and Kenny was part of it. Today we graduated up from a disposable taped brief (think diaper) to a pull-up brief. Talk about a happy camper, Kenny has been thrilled. He wore his tuxedo this evening to the wedding. I wish I had a photo of him in his "monkey suit". He was really elegant. Everyone was so excited to see him that I think he really tired quickly. He was ready for bed so we came home about 8:30. He is sleeping through the night almost every night which is really nice for me.

He has really done well the past few days. He is still pretty weak, but I think he improves daily. Thanks for all the cards and letters.

Friends are friends forever...

We had a lovely day. Papa was like the king on his throne surrounded by five women this morning. And all of them talking at once as we gals are prone to do. Later he said to me, "Boy did they talk a lot!" As soon as we went into the "big house" for lunch he decided to take a nap. I think we wore him out.

He had a good day today. He ate well and I think he enjoyed watching his old movies. He stayed up tonight and watched at least half of American Idol. But, having said that, he is tired - tired of being dependent on others and just tired in general.

Lately he has been calling some of his old pals and former classmates of his or of Hyrtha's. It really does him good to talk to these folks. I would imagine that it also does them good too. It is one of the greatest things about Kenny; he keeps up with all of his old friends whenever possible. I am amazed at how many folks his age are on the Internet. I am unsure if they have accessed this blog or not, but I do know that they keep up with one another via email. I think that is so great.

Kenny is getting his haircut tomorrow. We are all so disappointed. He was beginning to look like George Washington. I had told him that I was going to get a black ribbon to tie his hair back when he goes to the wedding on Saturday. Savannah was planning to come around and "fix" his hair for him. She's going to be really disappointed.

We learned that my first cousin, Bruce Marshall, my daddy's nephew, died on Saturday of a massive heart attack (at age 60!) My sister and I were so looking forward to seeing so many of our Marshall family here for Rachel's wedding. How sad that the reunion will be at Bruce's funeral rather that at the happy occasion two days later. As a result of Bruce's death, I have been thinking a lot about life and, as a result, death also. Kenny will be 91 in November and has overcome many health challenges in the past twenty years. How blessed we have been to have him in our lives these past years. I have been thinking of Bruce's two daughters and his four grandchildren and how much they will miss him in their lives and how much our own children have benefited from having Kenny in theirs. No one had greater influence over my life than my grandmother. The older I get the more I recognize that many of my most strongly held beliefs come directly from her. I am so grateful for Kenny's presence in our lives and I know many of you feel the same way.

But then again....

After all my bragging, I have discovered that I am not the best of caregivers. Yesterday, mid morning (10:45)Papa wanted me to put him in his bed to "take care of a few matters" and afterwards he decided he's stay there and take a nap. I told him that I would let him do that until noon (his next meds were due then, in one hour)since I needed to water my plants and hanging baskets. Time go away from me and when my alarm on my phone went off at noon, so I hurried in the cottage to get his meds and wake him up. Well, guess what? The scoundrel had somehow gotten himself out of the bed, into his pants, into his wheelchair and managed to "walk" his way to Carolina Room and put himself in his chair. I read him the riot act and told him that obviously I could not trust him anymore. He said he wouldn't do it again; it was too hard and he tired himself out. The rest of the day progressed normally until 2:30 this morning. He decided that rather than "do his business" in his brief, he wanted to get out of the bed. I caught him as he was trying to escape at the foot of the bed. His brief was dry as a bone and he wanted the urinal. Well, at 2:30 AM I am not the most congenial person, I regret to say, and was in no mood to get into the argument we have everyday during the daylight hours. I flatly told him I was not taking off a clean brief and waiting around for him to pee! He asked me what I was going to do. "Back to bed. It's 2:45 in the morning." Well, how was he supposed to know? Maybe the lack of any lights on in the house? Anyway, 10 minutes later, he calls out, "Ginny? What am I supposed to do?" I got up and went into him and said, "Papa, please, would you just relieve yourself in your brief and let me go back to sleep?" "Oh, all right." Ten minutes late, "Ginny?" "Yes, Papa?"
"What are you doing?" "Trying to go back to sleep." "Oh!" This went on till nearly 3:30. I should have just thrown in the towel and gotten the urinal, but, oh, no. I had to continue this power struggle with this 90 year old gentleman who is really accepting his limitation with a lot of grace, but this aspect of his caregiving is the most difficult for him to accept. However, at 3:30 in the morning my empathy is severly lacking. I might add that he went back to sleep and at 4:00 AM I finally just get up and go into the living room and eat a piece of pound cake, drink a glass of water and read for an hour till I got sleepy again. I relate all of this to say that obviously I am just as childish as he is on occasion. Last night was a good example of that.

This morning he is good as new. Tammy was here to bathe him and he had a great breakfast and now he is looking at a 1930 film, FAST TIMES. He's having a great time. Me? Well, let's just say I am tired and, in addition, a bit ashamed of myself.

Today is warm and cloudy. Hopefully, we will get some rain and I will not have to sneak outside to water my plants. In addition, we have a friend from Tennessee, Terry Kennedy and her daughter Susan coming in to stay at the Inlet for a couple of nights. Terry's husband Ron died a couple of years ago and we did not make the trip to see him that we wanted to. She is coming so that she can see Kenny and us, of course. She and Ron used to come down and spend a weekend with us a couple of times a year and they became very fond of Papa. He has been so fortunate. He has made so many friends of all ages and they are so great about dropping by for a minute or two just to check on him and to say "hey." That's what we say in the South instead of "Hi!"

Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I've got a beautiful feeling, everythings going my way....

Saturday is always one of my favorite days...Larry has no meetings, he spends little time on the phone putting out fires and I usually find time to do some of the things that I want to do that I have been unable to do during the week. Today was one of those days and Kenny had a really good day too. I told you all before that Courtney and I have been working like Trojans to get our back yard around the terrace looking at least respectable. I really wanted to get some planting done this morning and, thanks be to God, I did. Papa was up early; he breakfasted in bed and then spent a peaceful morning in his chair reading the paper and watching TV. I took my cell phone with me and left Kenny instructions that if he needed me he was to call my cell phone. (Mind you, I was no more than 100 feet away at any time.) I planted my
vinca, periwinkle and alyssum in a wonderful round planter atop a 6X6 wooden post in the center of a round flower bed. Larry went to the beach to Costco and Sam's Club for me. (He is definitely Hyrtha's boy. He is a great shopper...he looks at every single item in the store.) He came home with some extra treasures but boy, was it worth it. I got to spend most of the morning outside in glorious weather. I came in to check on Papa several times and each time he would say,"Go on back outside. I am fine!" Precious man!

Tonight I had a night out. Casey and his family came to "Papa Sit". It was a treat for all three of us. Before I left, he said to me, "Ginny, you can get drunk tonight if you want to." (Well, I did have 3 glasses of wine but I could have walked home if I had to.) When we got home, guess what? At 8:00, he was in bed, waiting for me. We have had almost two weeks of wonderful days and fairly uneventful nights. We thank you all for your prayers for our well-being. Prayer works. We are evidence of that. In fact things have been so good that I may just update the blog every other day because otherwise, it seems like more of the same. If we have interesting days, of course , I will report it. If we have challenges, you can be sure that I will be online asking for your prayers. Have a great Sunday tomorrow.

I'm late, I'm late for a very important date. Hello, goodbye, not time to stop; I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

I fell asleep last night at 8:30. It appears that Papa is not the only one who has difficulty with drugs. My doc prescribed a pain killer and a muscle relaxer for me to use just at night. Well, it was still heavily in my system late yesterday, as I slept almost all afternoon and ended up going to bed at 8:30 PM I asked Larry to blog for me last night - to no avail. Several folks let me know that I had not updated Hangtownred's blogspot. Apologies!

Yesterday was a good day but Kenny was really tired and we saw the same thing today. He decided today that one of the reasons is that he has not been taking his daily vitamins that he has been taking for the last 10 years. So beginning tomorrow morning, he will be back to his once a day vitamins. (Dr. Ginny has spoken.)

Today, he had lots of visitors - Jessie, Courtney and B-Man, Casey, Kim and Olivia (dressed for the eighth grade prom, what a beauty!) He did not get his nap so he went to bed at 7:00PM, much to my dismay. He finally found his jewelry box that I had Rose take in the "big house" for safe keeping and had forgotten. He spent a lot of time today going through it deciding what things he wanted to pass on to the kids. He then called them and told them that he wanted them to come by and look over the loot and take what they wanted.

If we can get Chad around here, maybe we can get rid of some of Kenny's shoes. He tells the story of having to wear his sister's "hand-me-down" shoes to school. He swore that when he grew up he would only wear nice shoes...well, let me tell you, he has some nice shoes, size 7. Each pair has a pair of shoe trees and they look like they have never been worn; he has certainly not worn them in 15 years. I ended up putting them all in a basket in an effort to find the jewelry box. Now if I can just find a place to store the 8mm films and slides and....this is a small house for three people to be living in most of the time.

The weather has been gorgeous lately. I would really like to take Kenny outside for
a walk tomorrow if he feels like it. I think the fresh air would be so good for him.
Courtney and I worked (actually I directed, Courtney worked!) in the yard planting azaleas and hydrangeas in some of the beds where my 72-year old azaleas died this past year. What a worker Courtney is! The back yard is beginning to look so much better. I would like to take Papa out to see what we have done; I think he will enjoy seeing all the flowers. Our little town has been lovely this spring. Y'all come to see it.

I get weary and sick of tryin'; I'm tired of livin' and scared of dyin'....

Today was a different kind of day. First of all, Kenny has worried about me far more than about himself. Last evening after I finished "blogging", I fell asleep in the chair and when my phone alarm went off at midnight for the midnight Methadone, I evidently got up to quickly and my blood pressure took a nose dive; I lost my balance and began to fall into the table where my laptop is. I did not want to risk cracking the liquid crystal screen so I evidently tried to correct my fall and wrenched my right hip somehow. I have been in agony most of last night and a good part of today. He has worried himself sick about me. Plus I get the feeling that he has decided that the end may be near for him. He has been very tired most of today. He has also begun to fret about things that he has done in the past that he feels he needs to rectify...many of them things that really need no fixing...stands he took on principle that caused rifts between him and others, but also acts of selfishness on his part. He feels that Jesus won't forgive him until he does something. Jessie was around this morning for me to go to the MD and she did a wonderful job of talking to him about Jesus and grace. Please keep him in your prayers.

I am happy to report that he is seriously planning to go to my niece Rachel's wedding and be her granddaddy. I do hope that happens. It certainly gives him something to look forward to in the coming two weeks.

He was interested in all the Tea Parties going on across the country today. He said it was too bad he wasn't in Sacramento to attend that one. I can see it now!

Our children have been absolutely wonderful to their PaPa. They all take time to come sit with him and talk to him. Just today, Jessie, Casey and Courtney were over here spending time with him. We are the most fortunate of people; not only do we have wonderful friends, we have great kids too. God is good all the time. All the time, God is good!

Though April showers may come my way, they bring the flowers that bloom in May...

Today, Papa and I kept waiting for the heavens to open up and pour rain...didn't happen; it only spritzed all day. I think that may be the best kind of rain, though - a slow gentle misting. We had a really good day again today. I will say that he was awake a few times last night, since he went to bed so early yesterday. Today, he asked Sherry, his nurse, if she thought he was sleeping too much, as he cut his eyes at me. Thank goodness she told him that it was not a good idea to go to bed really early because it meant that the effects of his sleeping meds would cease before time for him to arise. Same thing I told him...but as long as he listens to someone, that is what counts.

He is getting comfortable getting out of his bed and his chair into the wheelchair, which indicates to me that he is getting a little stronger. His mind is pretty good and he is again enjoying the newspaper. He still has an occasional challenge verbalising his thoughts, which is frustrating to him, but then I have that challenge sometimes and I am not 90.

We have discovered a great use for some of the "hundreds" of tee shirts that Larry has accumulated over the last 17 years. We split them up the back to within 3 inches of the neck and they make perfect shirts for him to wear. They are easily put on and taken off and are soft and comfortable - much better than those awful hospital gowns that leave you feeling a bit naked. I guess necessity is the mother of invention.

Our weather is getting warmer and warmer. It is truly Inlet weather; however, I do not think we will make it over there this year. The move would be just too complicated. Therefore, our summer will be very different this year. No ocean breezes, no pluff mud, no Great Blue herons and other sea birds. We will all miss it, I am sure. But that doesn't mean we aren't welcoming of visitors...especially visitors who can look after themselves. So, to quote Ellie Mae, "Y'all come, you heah?"

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart...

Today was gray and gloomy outside but inside it was a great day. I think I am turning Papa into an early morning person. He was ready to get up at 7:15 AM, that is, until he found out it was 7:15, then he decided to sleep until 8:00. He sat up at 8:00 and ate a great breakfast, had his bath and went in to watch Regis & Kelly. He stayed up till after lunch, when he decided to take a nap. My dryer went on the blink and while I was drying clothes at my sister's and Larry was taking his siesta in the next room, Kenny decided to get up, put himself in the wheelchair and was "pedaling" his way back into the Carolina room when I caught him. Need I say more? He is coming along!

The only tough part of the day was when he decided that he would go to bed at 6:30 PM. Nothing we said would dissuade him. Now, at almost 1:00 AM he is awake and wondering if I forgot to give him his pills. I just told him to go to sleep and let me worry about the medicine. I have a feeling that this will be a sleepless night for me because when he goes to bed so early, he really doesn't sleep well and I think he likes company...me.

So many of you have written us or called us to wish us well this Easter. Thank you all so much. Your friendships are treasured more than you can imagine. God has richly blessed us with many caring friends; without you all, we would never have been able to carry on as we have. I believe that He sends his angels to care for us and many times they come in the guise of friends.

God bless all of you.

Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh, what a beautiful day...

What a glorious day for all of us! For Kenny, it followed, more or less, the same course as yesterday. He awoke ready to get up and "get going". He was cheerful and pleasant all day long. Just after church, James and Judy Hunter, our friends from Danville, Virginia, dropped by to see him. He was thrilled and they were amazed. His memory and his talent for remembering names truly is a source of amazement.

The final day of the Masters Golf Tournament from Augusta was the focus of his attention for most of the day, with a few moments taken to check into the hostage rescue off the coast of Somalia. He stayed glued to the TV except for meals and he ate really well for all three meals today. He is a member of the "clean plate club" again today.

It is a joyous thing to experience the kindnesses of friends and loved ones. Today not only did we have visitors from church but the church also sent him one of the lilies that graced the altar this morning for the Easter eucharist. How blessed we are and what love we find in our friends and our community. God bless all of you.

One day at a time, sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you....

I am almost afraid to tell you how great today was. He went 5 hours and 45 minutes between pain meds last night. I almost got to sleep til 6:00 AM. and then at 8:00 he was ready to get up and eat breakfast. He spent almost the entire day in his chair or in the wheelchair watching the golf tournament - the Masters, of course. I went out early to see if I could find him some drawstring scrubs that would be easy to get on and off so he would be more comfortable when he has folks stop by. I was able to find 2 pair of petites - they're shorter. Now he is ready to go. This afternoon, my sister Margaret and her whole family visited, including my niece's "intended" (that's fiance to those of you not from the South!) Papa is looking forward to Rachel's wedding two weeks from today. At the rate he's going, he may be able to attend. Rachel asked him to be her granddaddy since she has none. Up to now we had thought he would be unable to go but who knows...

Tomorrow (actually today here) is Easter Sunday and it is almost as if we have witnessed a resurrection here. A month ago we really thought we were experiencing the beginning of the end. Once again, Kenny has surprised us...I am not sure why. I guess we keep forgetting that it is futile to anticipate God's timing. I think we have finally reached tohe point where we truly are living one day at a time and are thankful for each day that comes along with Kenny in our lives. At this point in the journey, the medication is working like a dream with few side effects. We realize that it will not always be so; at some point his pain level will ratchet up and we will have to increase the medicine too but for now, we're grateful for the success we have had. Thank you all for your support, your comments either here or on email and for your cards as well. God bless all of you. Happy Easter. Alleluia, Christ is risen! The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia!