We think we are seeing the beginning of the final days. Kenny has grown steadily weaker in the past few weeks, but yesterday it was much more noticeable and today was a very poor day for him. His heart rate has slowed a bit; his attention span has dropped to almost nothing. He can barely help himself do anything and this morning he told me to call the undertaker, that he was dying. I gave him a nitroglycerine tablet to put under his tongue for chest pain and gave him an atavan for anxiety. His BP was elevated for a while (unusual for him) and each time I took his pressure I noticed that the pulse rate was slowing. He eventually calmed and went to sleep and slept all day. He had little to eat other than half a peach and half a bowl of Maltomeal for breakfast - a rarity since he normally eats a huge breakfast. I was supposed to accompany Larry tomorrow on the plane with the Coastal Carolina University football team to the Kent State game tomorrow night but in light of his declining condition, I have decided to forego the trip. My leaving tends to add to his anxiousness. Because of the seriousness of this decline, I will be giving short reports every day or two. Kenny has a history of making liars out of the docs and me so it is within the realm of possibility that he will bounce back. However, because of his strong desire to leave us for Heaven, I will be surprised if he is here in October. For our sakes, I hope I am wrong; for his, I pray I am right.
The Mercy Hospice personel have been just splendid as usual. Colleen, his nurse, came back this afternoon to give me some moral support, I think. I had begun to realize that I could not leave him in someone else's hands. I felt so much better when I got her report because it bears out what I have observed as a layperson. What a ministry it is to be a Hospice Doctor, Nurse, CNA, Chaplain, Social Worker or Volunteer. There is a real sense of spirituality and compassion for the ill and the elderly with every one of these people. The lady who runs it thinks it is just a business...I for one am glad she stays away from the patients. I know that it has to be run as a business but it is so much more. I thank God for all of the wonderful folks that have touched our lives through Papa's illness and through Mercy Hospice.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Changes are a-coming...
We are seeing very distinct changes happening to Kenny in the last couple of days. He is much weaker, is eating less and is increasingly inattentive. It is incredibly difficult to get his attention. He appears to not even hear but in actuality he is simply "in another world" most of the time. He is not in any more pain that he has been for the last 5-6 months. The methadone seems to be doing a more than adequate job of keeping the pain level down. As I stated the other day, he is sleeping more every day. Some nights he will sleep the entire night - as many as 15 hours a night sometimes; other nights he will be up four or five times, asking me what I am doing, which does not elicit an extremely sweet response at 3 AM. Other times he has to go to the "loo", as he says occasionally. Last night he talked all night...the entire night. It amazes me that in his sleep he has such a strong clear voice and awake, I am barely able to understand him sometimes. Curiouser and curiouser! He appears to worry a lot about his medications. This may spring from the fact that he has had so many to take for so many years that he had to be constantly vigilant about "pill time" for him and for Hyrtha. He told Ginger the other day that I was not giving him his meds like I was supposed to. Hell, my whole life is predicated on his medicine schedule. My alarm on my phone goes off every four hours for his methadone, alone. When I asked him why in the world he told Ginger that, he just looked at me and grinned. The old devil! He still shows his sense of humor occasionally. This morning, however, he was totally lacking in a sense of humor as he gave me hell for trying to keep him from falling on his face in the bathroom. He said I "rode his a-- all the time for no good reason." He says he will do what he thinks he should do. I try to remind him that Dr. Charlie told him that his mind lies to him all the time about what he is able to do. That is why he fractured five ribs in December. Well, that wasn't what he was talking about.
Ginger and I both had to tell him Tuesday that it was not practical for him to expect to get stronger. He keeps saying, "I just seem to be getting weaker." I just broke my heart to have to say, "Papa, you cannot expect to get stronger. It is just not going to happen." But it really upsets him. And boy have we seen him growing weaker this week. Loren Bulla, our Hospice Chaplain, was here today and expressed dismay at the change he saw in three weeks. He is so ready to "go home." He asked me how long I thought it would be. I told him that I hoped for his sake it would not be long. He is so tired of life as it is now. Kenny asked that we pray the Jesus will come and take him home so he can be with Hyrtha again. It is my prayer that he will go to sleep and wake up in Heaven. Please make that your prayer as well. God bless all of you for your faithfulness to us.
Ginger and I both had to tell him Tuesday that it was not practical for him to expect to get stronger. He keeps saying, "I just seem to be getting weaker." I just broke my heart to have to say, "Papa, you cannot expect to get stronger. It is just not going to happen." But it really upsets him. And boy have we seen him growing weaker this week. Loren Bulla, our Hospice Chaplain, was here today and expressed dismay at the change he saw in three weeks. He is so ready to "go home." He asked me how long I thought it would be. I told him that I hoped for his sake it would not be long. He is so tired of life as it is now. Kenny asked that we pray the Jesus will come and take him home so he can be with Hyrtha again. It is my prayer that he will go to sleep and wake up in Heaven. Please make that your prayer as well. God bless all of you for your faithfulness to us.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Home again, home again
After a week in the mountains at Eagle Rock, coming back to Murrells Inlet was a source of some confusion for Kenny. He was unsure of where he was. This past week has been a bit better except that he seems concerned that he is too weak to do certain things and does not grasp the concept that he is not ever going to be strong again. In truth, he is weaker every week; however, he still hangs in there. We are seeing a change in his sleep habits. With the exception of when I am not here, he sleeps through the night and many days awakes around midday. He sleeps much of the day in his recliner also. His appetite is waning a bit, except for sweets and breakfast. If he had his way, he would eat breakfast three times a day and have dessert at the end of each meal. Not a bad idea, actually.
Our week in the mountains was good for all of us because we felt a sense of accomplishment when he was able to sleep in his room that we had so meticulously planned. We did learn that the small shower (our only option for that particular bathroom) is not especially easy to use. We still have some adjustments to make to the shower mechanism itself. He and I nearly drowned giving him a shower but it was good for a laugh.
This last weekend, Larry and I went back up on Thursday (and came home on Saturday) to finish some furniture refinishing for Kenny's room. It was easily done and we both commented that furniture refinishing is a lot easier in 2009 than it was in 1967 and 68 when he and I and my mama did so much antiqueing (is that a word?) of old furniture. It was a many step procedure then. Today, once the piece is cleaned up, you can do it in one step. Now Papa has two small bed stands in his room that do not take up as much space as the original ones did. Larry was in his element. He should have been a woman. He loves nick-nacks (that was never on the spelling list)that go with decorating. He also loves to shop, a point of contention, I might add. I am not one for spending hours perusing shelves and aisles looking for bargains. I want to know where it is, get it, pay for it and go home. What is wrong with this picture? Anyway, we had a good time shopping together, something that we seldom get to do anymore.
I frequently say how much I appreciate all of you and your concern and your prayers. This weekend past was not a good weekend for most of our children to help us out by staying with Kenny so we had planned to leave about noon on Thursday and just come home late Friday. (You do what you can with what you have, don't you?) Larry was walking to the house in Conway after leaving our Suburban to be worked on and Kathy Faircloth, from our church, gave him a ride. He was talking on the phone (Say it isn't so!) and explaining that we would not be able to stay as long doing work in the new house because we had to get back to Papa. Kathy heard the conversation and offered to come over Saturday morning and stay when Jessie left so that we could stay a day longer. What a giving spirit she has! We were just overwhelmed by her kindness. God has been so good to us. He has showered us with blessings, many times when we least expect them. So many of those blessings are you all and your caring spirits. Thank you.
As most of you have gathered, we are just plodding along day by day, some more difficult than others. Most, though, are fairly good days, considering his condition. Thus far, Kenny has little pain from the cancer, few inconveniences due to incontinence and such, and few sleepless nights, so I consider that we are fortunate. It is my prayer for Kenny, that when his time comes, he will simply go to sleep and wake up in Jesus's arms. That might be next week, next month or next year. Nothing surprises me with him anymore. What a sense of survival he has! I guess that's why he will be 91 his next birthday. Keep us all in your prayers, please, as we keep you in ours. God bless each of you.
Our week in the mountains was good for all of us because we felt a sense of accomplishment when he was able to sleep in his room that we had so meticulously planned. We did learn that the small shower (our only option for that particular bathroom) is not especially easy to use. We still have some adjustments to make to the shower mechanism itself. He and I nearly drowned giving him a shower but it was good for a laugh.
This last weekend, Larry and I went back up on Thursday (and came home on Saturday) to finish some furniture refinishing for Kenny's room. It was easily done and we both commented that furniture refinishing is a lot easier in 2009 than it was in 1967 and 68 when he and I and my mama did so much antiqueing (is that a word?) of old furniture. It was a many step procedure then. Today, once the piece is cleaned up, you can do it in one step. Now Papa has two small bed stands in his room that do not take up as much space as the original ones did. Larry was in his element. He should have been a woman. He loves nick-nacks (that was never on the spelling list)that go with decorating. He also loves to shop, a point of contention, I might add. I am not one for spending hours perusing shelves and aisles looking for bargains. I want to know where it is, get it, pay for it and go home. What is wrong with this picture? Anyway, we had a good time shopping together, something that we seldom get to do anymore.
I frequently say how much I appreciate all of you and your concern and your prayers. This weekend past was not a good weekend for most of our children to help us out by staying with Kenny so we had planned to leave about noon on Thursday and just come home late Friday. (You do what you can with what you have, don't you?) Larry was walking to the house in Conway after leaving our Suburban to be worked on and Kathy Faircloth, from our church, gave him a ride. He was talking on the phone (Say it isn't so!) and explaining that we would not be able to stay as long doing work in the new house because we had to get back to Papa. Kathy heard the conversation and offered to come over Saturday morning and stay when Jessie left so that we could stay a day longer. What a giving spirit she has! We were just overwhelmed by her kindness. God has been so good to us. He has showered us with blessings, many times when we least expect them. So many of those blessings are you all and your caring spirits. Thank you.
As most of you have gathered, we are just plodding along day by day, some more difficult than others. Most, though, are fairly good days, considering his condition. Thus far, Kenny has little pain from the cancer, few inconveniences due to incontinence and such, and few sleepless nights, so I consider that we are fortunate. It is my prayer for Kenny, that when his time comes, he will simply go to sleep and wake up in Jesus's arms. That might be next week, next month or next year. Nothing surprises me with him anymore. What a sense of survival he has! I guess that's why he will be 91 his next birthday. Keep us all in your prayers, please, as we keep you in ours. God bless each of you.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I am ready to chew nails...!
This is the second time I have started this "dad gum" blog. I am on my son-in-law's computer and it keeps sending me somewhere else and the last time I could not find my way back. We are in Beech Mountain, North Carolina, finishing up our 15-16 month building project. We brought Kenny with us and he has done really well. He continues to be very confused. This confusion seems to be the result of the metatasis of the cancer from the bladder to the liver. According to Ginger, his nurse, the liver toxins will cause confusion and confused he is. We have had episodes prior to this, but this is a day to day happening. He was not sure where he was or why we were here. He thought we encountered some kind of emergency on the trip up here and wanted to know what the paramedics had to say. He thought Larry was going back to the Inlet yesterday when he went to town. But I will say that he is sleeping through the night and sleeping a total of 14-15 hours at night. He awakes about 6:30 or 7:00 AM very wet but alert and ready to get dry and go back to sleep. When he gets up later, he is far more alert than before. At this time (5:30 PM) he is dozing on the sofa between ready his novel and the Charlotte Observer.
We are having glorious weather here - 70s versus 90s at home. We have had rain, of course, but all the windows are open and I am glorying in the cool air. We are here for a week to locate and iron out any "bugs" prior to turning the house over to the realtor for rentals. It is a great house, if I do say so myself. We have picked up some real bargains to furnish it and the furnishings are really special, I think. We hope the renters will agree. I will say that the kitchen is just fabulous. I love it and am going to hate to leave.
Kenny seems to be winding down. He spends much more time sleeping. Our quest is to make his last months or weeks or days as comfortable and as pleasant as possible. He is reliving much of his life in California - hunting, fishing, boating. Each "fantasy" is somehow related to one of those things and it continues for days. But at the same time he seems to be very present. It is an oddity to me. He knows people but doesnt remember present circumstances.
We are presently, as of two days ago, battling blood clots in the urine. Our really important goal now is to keep that bladder irrigated so that the clots continue to come out rather than blocking the ureter. We do not want to have to hospitalize him which we might have to do if we have to catherize him, so please pray that we will be able to avoid that. We will keep you posted as we go on. Stay tuned....
We are having glorious weather here - 70s versus 90s at home. We have had rain, of course, but all the windows are open and I am glorying in the cool air. We are here for a week to locate and iron out any "bugs" prior to turning the house over to the realtor for rentals. It is a great house, if I do say so myself. We have picked up some real bargains to furnish it and the furnishings are really special, I think. We hope the renters will agree. I will say that the kitchen is just fabulous. I love it and am going to hate to leave.
Kenny seems to be winding down. He spends much more time sleeping. Our quest is to make his last months or weeks or days as comfortable and as pleasant as possible. He is reliving much of his life in California - hunting, fishing, boating. Each "fantasy" is somehow related to one of those things and it continues for days. But at the same time he seems to be very present. It is an oddity to me. He knows people but doesnt remember present circumstances.
We are presently, as of two days ago, battling blood clots in the urine. Our really important goal now is to keep that bladder irrigated so that the clots continue to come out rather than blocking the ureter. We do not want to have to hospitalize him which we might have to do if we have to catherize him, so please pray that we will be able to avoid that. We will keep you posted as we go on. Stay tuned....
Friday, July 17, 2009
Time flies when you're having fun...or so they say.
Where has the time gone since the fifth? I can tell you that it has not been an uneventful twelve days. We have prepared for company from California; we have enjoyed our company from California and yesterday we said "Hasta la vista!" to our friends from California. These folks come out every other summer just prior to the big Renaissance Conference in July. The conference is in the east (usually Orlando) every other year and the "Inlet Rats" gather here for four or five of days before the conference and then all drive down to the meeting together. This summer it was so great for Papa to really be able to enjoy the company. They were all so solicitous of him (and of me, oddly enough) and each spent time talking to him, even 12 year old Curtis. We were even able to get Kenny out to go over to "Cedar Hill Landing" for supper one night and over to Jessie's for the kids to get together. (Savannah and Corrie Parkhouse met in Orlando two years ago and became fast friends and email buddies.)
I think it was good for Papa but also tiring. Last night, the first night without company was not a very good night (not sure there is any correlation whatsoever.) He has begun to have some low back pain which radiates around the hip area to the front of his thighs and settles in that muscle just above the knee. As a result we have decreased the dosage and increased the frequency of his methadone to see if that helps. He woke up 5 or 6 times last night; at 3:15 I caught him climbing out of the bed on the side where there is no bedrail. He was beating on the wall to get my attention since he had no bell on that side of the bed and no wheelchair in sight. He wanted me to make sure I got the knife out of the bed. When I said, "The what???" He looked at me and said, "There's no knife, is there? I guess I dreamed it. Oh well, I'll go pee while you're here!" I had to laugh, but I still fussed at him for climbing out of the bed and taking a chance on falling instead of calling me. He just shrugged and got in the wheelchair that I finally pushed into the room. After getting in the wheelchair, he just looked at me. I said, "What?" He said, "Aw Ginny, I love you. I'm waiting for you to smile." What am I to do? Just love him, I guess. Finally at 6:00, he asked me what I was doing; I told him I was trying to get some sleep. He said, "well, if you are not going to get up, I guess I'll go back to bed too." (As if he ever gets up at 6 AM.) I did manage another hour of sleep before he decided he might as well get up at 7:30. Needless to say, after doing six loads of laundry yesterday and getting up 6 times last night, I have been a zombie today. I think he and I are both looking forward to bed tonight.
We are changing nurses again. Our delightful Colleen has been transferred to admissions by Hospice so Ginger Lawrimore is our new nurse. One thing is for sure, everyone at Mercy Hospice is very professional, very loving and extremely helpful to all of us. Yesterday afternoon Loren, the chaplain, came over for a visit. He and Papa just hit it off so well. He was in Iraq as a chaplain and Papa loves to talk about his WWII experiences. He sent to Conway for a set of DVD's by the History Channel, America at War. It starts with the Revolutionary War and goes to the Iraq War. Loren is coming back next week or the week after and watch the first one with him. Kenny is really looking forward to his next visit. Loren is so wonderful with him. He has managed to get Kenny to open up and talk about Hyrtha's death and his own perhaps approaching more quickly than we might wish. He has a great talent for focusing both on the here and now and on what's ahead and how Kenny feels about it and what trepidations he may have. It is so comforting for us to have someone else also talking to him about spiritual matters.
It is hard to believe that summer is almost half over. I just got my tomato plants transplanted in my new "upside down patio garden". I was somewhat chagrinned to read that I could expect tomatoes about 60 days after transplanting them. Well, we'll have tomatoes in late August and September. However, the other day I rejoiced to discover I have 7 or 8 tomatoes forming now! I am so excited. I feel so accomplished finally being able to frow tomatoes, peppers, mint, rosemary, parsley and sweet basil and not have to leave the house. I have the planter on the landing on the other side of the "elevator" where I can easily reach it and water and fertilize it without having to go down the stairs. Wow! Such energy. I am sure you are all greatly impressed. Anyway, Kenny and I are anxioussly awaiting some home grown tomatoes and peppers.
Thanks to all of you for being such faithful readers. I will try to do better in the coming days. Sweet dreams.
I think it was good for Papa but also tiring. Last night, the first night without company was not a very good night (not sure there is any correlation whatsoever.) He has begun to have some low back pain which radiates around the hip area to the front of his thighs and settles in that muscle just above the knee. As a result we have decreased the dosage and increased the frequency of his methadone to see if that helps. He woke up 5 or 6 times last night; at 3:15 I caught him climbing out of the bed on the side where there is no bedrail. He was beating on the wall to get my attention since he had no bell on that side of the bed and no wheelchair in sight. He wanted me to make sure I got the knife out of the bed. When I said, "The what???" He looked at me and said, "There's no knife, is there? I guess I dreamed it. Oh well, I'll go pee while you're here!" I had to laugh, but I still fussed at him for climbing out of the bed and taking a chance on falling instead of calling me. He just shrugged and got in the wheelchair that I finally pushed into the room. After getting in the wheelchair, he just looked at me. I said, "What?" He said, "Aw Ginny, I love you. I'm waiting for you to smile." What am I to do? Just love him, I guess. Finally at 6:00, he asked me what I was doing; I told him I was trying to get some sleep. He said, "well, if you are not going to get up, I guess I'll go back to bed too." (As if he ever gets up at 6 AM.) I did manage another hour of sleep before he decided he might as well get up at 7:30. Needless to say, after doing six loads of laundry yesterday and getting up 6 times last night, I have been a zombie today. I think he and I are both looking forward to bed tonight.
We are changing nurses again. Our delightful Colleen has been transferred to admissions by Hospice so Ginger Lawrimore is our new nurse. One thing is for sure, everyone at Mercy Hospice is very professional, very loving and extremely helpful to all of us. Yesterday afternoon Loren, the chaplain, came over for a visit. He and Papa just hit it off so well. He was in Iraq as a chaplain and Papa loves to talk about his WWII experiences. He sent to Conway for a set of DVD's by the History Channel, America at War. It starts with the Revolutionary War and goes to the Iraq War. Loren is coming back next week or the week after and watch the first one with him. Kenny is really looking forward to his next visit. Loren is so wonderful with him. He has managed to get Kenny to open up and talk about Hyrtha's death and his own perhaps approaching more quickly than we might wish. He has a great talent for focusing both on the here and now and on what's ahead and how Kenny feels about it and what trepidations he may have. It is so comforting for us to have someone else also talking to him about spiritual matters.
It is hard to believe that summer is almost half over. I just got my tomato plants transplanted in my new "upside down patio garden". I was somewhat chagrinned to read that I could expect tomatoes about 60 days after transplanting them. Well, we'll have tomatoes in late August and September. However, the other day I rejoiced to discover I have 7 or 8 tomatoes forming now! I am so excited. I feel so accomplished finally being able to frow tomatoes, peppers, mint, rosemary, parsley and sweet basil and not have to leave the house. I have the planter on the landing on the other side of the "elevator" where I can easily reach it and water and fertilize it without having to go down the stairs. Wow! Such energy. I am sure you are all greatly impressed. Anyway, Kenny and I are anxioussly awaiting some home grown tomatoes and peppers.
Thanks to all of you for being such faithful readers. I will try to do better in the coming days. Sweet dreams.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
What is cotton candy?
Needless to say, the last couple of days have been interesting and challenging. Saturday Morning about 3:00 (AM) Kenny rang the bell and when I asked him what he needed, he asked me. "What is Cotton Candy?" "It's spun sugar," I replied, "why?"
He was just wondering. When I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom, he said no, but he did have some numbness in his legs and couldn't move them. So, I rubbed them and moved them aroung a bit. Cotton Candy! What will we think of next?
The Fourth of July Picnic and World Famous Boat Parade was a great success. We had wonderful food to go along with our hot dogs and brats. Larry cooked them on the new grill that he put together...lots of work, but great results. It has a radiant section and also an extra small burner, and it looks great. We had about 25 friends over and it was just super to see everyone. We even had a precious, beautiful three-month-old young lady who stole the show. Miss Ava is an angel and everyone wanted to hold her.
All Hell broke loose last night. Kenny started his latest jaunt by deciding to do a lot of maneuvering in the bathroom after I warned him for the past four months that the more mooving around he did without holding on to a handrail or the wheelchair, the greater the chance of falling and hurtin himself. When he fell, Larry was out side I was waiting just outside the door. Needless to say, he was halfway in the shower and I had no help in getting him up. I was livid. Not only did he hurt his back but so did I. I let him know just what a stupid act I thought it was. Needless to say, that got his back up and things went downhill from there. When he went to bed at 9:30 (hallelujah, I thought!) he complained about his back hurting. I confess that I displayed little sympathy. I gave him extra Methadone at 8 PM and then at midnight, I planned to give him his sleeping meds along with more Methadone. Well, He rang me at 10:30 to go to the toilet, 1:00 AM to go to the toilet, 2:30 AM. 3:30 AM and 5:00 AM wanting to know when he could get some more pain meds. Well I gave him small doses (1cc) at 2:30 and at 5:00. At 5:30 he managed to crawl out of the other side of the bed, make it out the door and grap the wheelchair to walk himself to the bathroom. Well, I just completely lost it. Needless to say, today neither he nor I were fit company. He even said he was going to the VA hospital. They's be happy to have him. I proceeded to tell him to make very sure that's what he wanted to do, because they sure as hell wouldn't let him wear "pullup" briefs, but would put him in diapers and they certainly were not going to take him to the toilet every 30 minutes. Furthermore, I doubted they would offer him the meals that he gets here at the Biddle Hilton. Later on we both calmed down and came to a kind of truce. Then poor Larry is caught in the middle. He has a hard time understanding why Kenny is so ungrateful. I then had to tell him that this was my fight, not his. That I was mad with Kenny; he wasn't and to stay out of it. I then told him that Papa frequently espresses to me his gratitude, so just be quiet. Poor guy. He just could not win. I will be interested to see how we do tonight. I just seem to be unable to cope with long interrupted nights lately, but I do not know the answer unless it is to go back to the way it was when he came home from the hospital. He did not leave the bed to go to the bathroom...but that was an unholy battle also. I guess we are doomed to fight the Great Peein' Battle over and over and over again!
He was just wondering. When I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom, he said no, but he did have some numbness in his legs and couldn't move them. So, I rubbed them and moved them aroung a bit. Cotton Candy! What will we think of next?
The Fourth of July Picnic and World Famous Boat Parade was a great success. We had wonderful food to go along with our hot dogs and brats. Larry cooked them on the new grill that he put together...lots of work, but great results. It has a radiant section and also an extra small burner, and it looks great. We had about 25 friends over and it was just super to see everyone. We even had a precious, beautiful three-month-old young lady who stole the show. Miss Ava is an angel and everyone wanted to hold her.
All Hell broke loose last night. Kenny started his latest jaunt by deciding to do a lot of maneuvering in the bathroom after I warned him for the past four months that the more mooving around he did without holding on to a handrail or the wheelchair, the greater the chance of falling and hurtin himself. When he fell, Larry was out side I was waiting just outside the door. Needless to say, he was halfway in the shower and I had no help in getting him up. I was livid. Not only did he hurt his back but so did I. I let him know just what a stupid act I thought it was. Needless to say, that got his back up and things went downhill from there. When he went to bed at 9:30 (hallelujah, I thought!) he complained about his back hurting. I confess that I displayed little sympathy. I gave him extra Methadone at 8 PM and then at midnight, I planned to give him his sleeping meds along with more Methadone. Well, He rang me at 10:30 to go to the toilet, 1:00 AM to go to the toilet, 2:30 AM. 3:30 AM and 5:00 AM wanting to know when he could get some more pain meds. Well I gave him small doses (1cc) at 2:30 and at 5:00. At 5:30 he managed to crawl out of the other side of the bed, make it out the door and grap the wheelchair to walk himself to the bathroom. Well, I just completely lost it. Needless to say, today neither he nor I were fit company. He even said he was going to the VA hospital. They's be happy to have him. I proceeded to tell him to make very sure that's what he wanted to do, because they sure as hell wouldn't let him wear "pullup" briefs, but would put him in diapers and they certainly were not going to take him to the toilet every 30 minutes. Furthermore, I doubted they would offer him the meals that he gets here at the Biddle Hilton. Later on we both calmed down and came to a kind of truce. Then poor Larry is caught in the middle. He has a hard time understanding why Kenny is so ungrateful. I then had to tell him that this was my fight, not his. That I was mad with Kenny; he wasn't and to stay out of it. I then told him that Papa frequently espresses to me his gratitude, so just be quiet. Poor guy. He just could not win. I will be interested to see how we do tonight. I just seem to be unable to cope with long interrupted nights lately, but I do not know the answer unless it is to go back to the way it was when he came home from the hospital. He did not leave the bed to go to the bathroom...but that was an unholy battle also. I guess we are doomed to fight the Great Peein' Battle over and over and over again!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Little white lies....
Well, there is a tentative truce here at our house. Papa and I squared off last evening over him going to bed at 8:00 PM. I told him he had to wait til at least 9:00. He was furious; I was adamant. I relented at 8:45 and he pouted and evidently decided to pay me back. I woke up at 6:00 AM to find him pushing the wheelchair into the bathroom. He said he was not going to wake me up. As usual, he missed the point completely. The earlier he retires, the earlier he begins awake and then he's up and down till I am completely awake, then he goies back to sleep. I asked him this morning if he wanted me to help him back in the bed or did he want to do it himself. He said, "I got out of it by myself!" Then he allowed as how he might as well let me help him since he was worn out. I asked him what would happen if he fell when no one was with him. Was he willing to take a chance on breaking a limb or his hip? No answer.
Yesterday morning Larry and I woke up to find his bathroom light on. When Larry asked Kenny about it, he said he didn't want to wake me up so he managed to climb over or around the bedrail, grab hold of the wheelchair and push it to the bathroom. When I asked him about doing that, the story changed. He rang the bell five times and I did not come. (Now bear in mind that I can hear him breathe over the baby monitor and the bell nearly knocks me out of the bed. Hmmmm.) Colleen, his nurse, suggested that we not give him his sleeping pills until midnight when he has his last dose (or first dose) of Methadone. It has been working better, but he still fusses. My latest ploy is to have supper about 7 PM. It interrupts "Spin the Bottle" and Jeopardy but he will at least stay up a little longer. He still has the mind set that he needs to sleep 10 to 12 hours at night, but his body is rebeling, and we are caught in the middle.
Larry and I are really learning to use psychology to deal with him at times. It is a much more peaceful solution than losing our patience. We keep reminding ourselves that he is 90 years old and has been completely independent since he was 15. That is a difficult pattern to break. Let me tell you, he surrenders only when there is no other choice. I am sure that is one reason he has lived so long.
Today was a good day in toto. Rose, our wonderful one-day-a-week housekeeper, came over here today and probably will continue to do so. Papa adores Rose and she loves him so he was thrilled. We actually had time to leave and go to a funeral. A sad reason, but Larry and I got to go out together. We came home to a happy Kenny and a clean house. I manage the clean clothes and linens but the clean house has thus far eluded me. I guess it is clean enough to be be sanitary and dirty enough to be comfortable.
I will probably not blog again before the Fourth so here's hoping that all of you will comtemplate liberty this Fourth of July and pray God that we continue to be a free people and a light to the rest of the world. Blessings to all.
Yesterday morning Larry and I woke up to find his bathroom light on. When Larry asked Kenny about it, he said he didn't want to wake me up so he managed to climb over or around the bedrail, grab hold of the wheelchair and push it to the bathroom. When I asked him about doing that, the story changed. He rang the bell five times and I did not come. (Now bear in mind that I can hear him breathe over the baby monitor and the bell nearly knocks me out of the bed. Hmmmm.) Colleen, his nurse, suggested that we not give him his sleeping pills until midnight when he has his last dose (or first dose) of Methadone. It has been working better, but he still fusses. My latest ploy is to have supper about 7 PM. It interrupts "Spin the Bottle" and Jeopardy but he will at least stay up a little longer. He still has the mind set that he needs to sleep 10 to 12 hours at night, but his body is rebeling, and we are caught in the middle.
Larry and I are really learning to use psychology to deal with him at times. It is a much more peaceful solution than losing our patience. We keep reminding ourselves that he is 90 years old and has been completely independent since he was 15. That is a difficult pattern to break. Let me tell you, he surrenders only when there is no other choice. I am sure that is one reason he has lived so long.
Today was a good day in toto. Rose, our wonderful one-day-a-week housekeeper, came over here today and probably will continue to do so. Papa adores Rose and she loves him so he was thrilled. We actually had time to leave and go to a funeral. A sad reason, but Larry and I got to go out together. We came home to a happy Kenny and a clean house. I manage the clean clothes and linens but the clean house has thus far eluded me. I guess it is clean enough to be be sanitary and dirty enough to be comfortable.
I will probably not blog again before the Fourth so here's hoping that all of you will comtemplate liberty this Fourth of July and pray God that we continue to be a free people and a light to the rest of the world. Blessings to all.
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